Day 30 - Lizard Feet

I wonder if in the future I will look back on 2016 and think to myself "Remember that time when you spent the entire month of July on the sofa?!" 

This is what has come to pass - it is the last day of July and I have officially spent the entire last 31 days on my sofa, or in my bed, or for a tiny amount of time in a wheelchair. For someone who usually spends so much time up and out and about, I do feel that I have missed out on so much, but I also am thinking ahead now to the possibilities of the future where I might be able to walk without pain and have much longer term health for my feet.

A couple of days ago, someone on a Facebook group asked about how people had personally felt during their bunion surgery recovery. This got me thinking, and has confirmed for me that I have definitely experienced some form of depression during my recovery. Probably all normal given the responses of many who said they felt the same, but this was a side affect I really hadn't expected. I am now over four weeks post op and I still have some really bad days, yesterday wasn't great, but the bad days are becoming fewer and farther between which is a good sign. The days that have been good are the days where people have shown a little extra love and done something nice, for example my in-laws took me out on Friday for a cup of tea at a cafe by a lake not far from where I live, and my parents had us over for some food last night and we sat in the garden which was nice. I highly recommend for anyone feeling down after their surgery to take up people's offers to do anything that isn't sitting around, it really can keep you sane but it is also highly important to listen to your body, how do you feel, are you feeling up to going out and potentially not having your feet elevated for a little while, are you able to get about in a wheelchair wherever you go. If you plan ahead then it is possible to go on short outings, though not in the first two weeks!

Today has been possibly the best day so far which is where I am starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Early this morning I was taken out for breakfast with my family, it was great to get up and get out and after we'd eaten we decided to visit the garden centre near the cafe, they had wheelchairs available so I could be taken round (so glamorous) and again we sat and had a cup of tea there in the sunshine. We then came home and for the first time in a month I felt like sitting outside - I've been far too hot and bothered and miserable up until now. My husband managed to get hold of a comfortable lounger I could sit on with some pillows under my feet. I kept socks on to protect the incision sites. I didn't stay outside for long but it did make a difference to feel the sun on my face. I now feel I'm on the countdown to being able to walk again - only 11 days until my appointment with the consultant and I am keeping everything I can crossed that they will allow me to walk out of the hospital!

I am working really hard with my Range of Motion (ROM) exercises. These have been so painful, however every time I grin and bear it the pain gets less intense. I am really trying to do whatever I can to make sure I have as much motion in my joints going forward. I have been doing these exercises now for 6 days and I already have seen a marked improvement. I can bend my toes further and can now wriggle the big toe on my left foot up and down independently.

The top two photos are my feet taken on Thursday after three days of exercises. The bottom two are taken today on Sunday after six days - there's already a noticeable difference.

You can see in the video my toes are shaking where I am trying so hard to move them - this is how tough it is to do, a movement anyone else would likely take for granted! It's also worth noting that this was taken after several repetitions of my exercises, so this is at their most flexible. After resting a few hours, the toes become stiffer again.

I'm pleased with the movement so far on my left foot (in the video). I think that due to the extension/cutting of the tendon on my right foot, the big toe does not currently move by itself. I'm hopeful this will improve over time, but will need to ask my consultant about this if there's no improvement by my appointment. The knuckle part of my right big toe is also numb today so I'm hoping that's also not permanent.

One yucky side affect of this process is that since my bandages have been removed, my feet have turned into that of a lizard!! Every inch of skin has gone dry and scaly and started peeling away. My husband has bought me a large tub of E45 cream which has helped a little, but a lot of time seems to spent getting rid of dead skin. The skin underneath is lovely and soft but the dead skin just seems to go on and on. Another aspect I am looking forward to moving beyond!!

Day 27 - Stiff toes

So it turns out that when you have your bones broken and realigned, they don't bend so well afterwards!

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting, but I somehow didn't realise that after this surgery I would barely be able to move my toes. After Monday's little episode at the hospital, I thought I would start on my toe flexion and extension exercises. To perform these you have to hold your foot firmly over the main boney part (where the bones were realigned) and then bending the toe down and upwards from the joint at the base of the toe. Due to my hyper mobility, I have always been really flexible in this area, being able to bend my toes virtually under my feet. I always used to pretend I was a ballet dancer (with the exception of the terrible balance due to awful bunions!)

These exercises are sooo painful. On Tuesday I could not perform these without crying. I don't know how to describe the pain but it shot right up through my body each time, particularly when pulling upwards, down wasn't so bad. I could hardly move the toes at all and was also getting upset as I couldn't see how I'd ever be able to move my toes in the same way again. This would mean not being able to wear heels, not dancing and finding walking/running painful.

I might've been slightly premature in panicking however as it is now Thursday and the mobility has already improved - can't say I'm Darcey Bussell yet, but I can definitely move them a little further and so am sure that if I keep up the routine every day for a few weeks that this will get better and better.

The exercise programme has me doing 3x sets of 5 repetitions down and then up on each foot, 4 times a day. This takes a while, but I know it's important to do right. My surgeon informed me that if it isn't painful, I'm not doing it right. So whilst I would usually be worrying about the pain that I'm damaging something, I know I have to grin and bear it if I want to regain the motion again.

I often worry that there's not enough "light" to this blog, that most of it is me moaning or saying how hard it is or down I am - however I wanted it to be a completely honest account of how I have felt, and I don't think that sugar coating anything is going to benefit anyone considering surgery or going through recovery. I loved reading others' blogs before and during my recovery, however I longed for more detail about the day to day stuff and feelings that people experienced, as I spent so much of those first few weeks worrying about every little thing, and everyone else I read about seemed to have such a smooth and easy recovery. I think if I'd gone into this expecting it to be really hard, it might have been less of a shock to me and I'd have coped better.

To add to the above, I would also say that yes it has been really hard, but all of that pales into insignificance if this whole thing ends up being worth it. Now at this point I can't say for definite if it has been worth it, I'm currently just shy of four weeks post op and I know that I won't experience the results until later down the line, at least when I am walking and potentially wearing new shoes. However, what I do know is that my new feet look fantastic, I no longer have that awful boney bump on the side of my foot, instead it's a lovely straight shape and I'm sure that it will be so much more comfortable in shoes. I also have a nice big toe that is flatter on my right foot and the nail already looks to be improving, it used to be very swollen from rubbing just below the nail, however I can certainly see a reduction in the swelling, excluding the fact it's swollen already from the surgery. All in all this looks to be a great positive start and so providing I can get my toes to bend and I don't end up with any nerve problems or lasting pain, then I know that all of this will have been worth it.

Thought I would round this post up with some photos of my toes being bent so I can compare in a few weeks of exercises. These were taken at the end of a round of exercises so had limbered up a little by this point:

This is my left foot before being flexed

My left foot with the toe being pulled up - this toe stretches further than the right one

Bending my right big toe, this one is stiffer than the left

Bending the toe down on the right foot, this is significantly less painful than pulling the toe up

Important to note that usually for doing these exercises my other hand is holding the foot firmly, however I needed this hand to take the photos.

Day 24 - Three week wound check (first view of feet!)

This afternoon I had my three week wound check, which also meant it was the first unveiling of my feet ☺️! Since the op my feet have been in the inch-thick bandages and I've not been able to remove these or get them wet - so I was really really excited about today's appointment and seeing the work my surgeon had done. I was also a little nervous as I've seen so many pictures of be-stitched feet on the internet and wasn't sure how well I would cope with the potential bloody wound.

First things first - the exciting bit - MY FEET! I'm so happy to see the transformation in the shape of my foot, especially my left foot. The left one was the one that looked the worst and had the most pronounced bunion, it also caused me the most grief in that area. The right foot had a much milder bunion but the big toe was permanently bent like it was flexing, so the change was more minimal in looking at it, but fingers crossed the real difference will be when I can finally walk.

Here is my before and after picture of my left foot: 

It looks more pronounced in socks!!

Here are both of my feet - sorry for the picture of the yucky looking nail, but you can see that the bottom looks like it is starting to grow back a little which is a positive sign so fingers crossed! 

So the unveiling was interesting. I was really nervous in the car on the way. I had read in places that it was potentially quite a painful experience having the bandages removed so I took some co-codamol about 15 minutes before arriving - BIG MISTAKE! I wouldn't say that you shouldn't take any painkillers at all, but really avoid anything that could lower your blood pressure or make you feel drowsy! I think it was the anticipation, or the nerves, but after he unveiled the first foot, I suddenly went really dizzy and felt like I was going to be sick any second. The nurse lay me back and got me some water and I just lay there for a few minutes until I thought I could cope with more unveiling. The nurse unveiled the second one and then round two happened, back to lying down, more water, another nurse came in to help (yay me!) - what was wrong with me? I never thought of myself as someone who struggled with medical stuff, I give blood regularly with no problems and I work in health so am surrounded by medical talk frequently - I just really struggled with this.

The next part of the appointment was to go through my range of motion exercises - this involved holding my foot and bending the big toe up and down several times. I was told to take the toe just past the point of pain and back. Oh my gosh this exercise is SO PAINFUL. I have to do this four times a day and I keep having to psych myself up to do it - not fun! However it's really important in order to restore flexibility in the joint and I love to dance and move around so this is important to me to work on!

Had a few more episodes of feeling dizzy during and after the motion exercises so they ended up wheeling me out just so I didn't pass out while standing. The nurse was fantastic and so understanding, I however felt like an idiot!

Since the appointment I unfortunately feel like I've taken a big step backwards in my mobility. It's now really difficult to walk in my boots, which I have to do for another three weeks, and is painful because of the pressure which has increased now there isn't lots of cushioning around them. So I'm back to using two crutches, going really slowly and not being able to carry things. I've also still not felt too good since the appointment, I keep feeling nauseous and have been quite down. I think I just got so overwhelmed which I wasn't expecting.

Another thing that has changed as a result of the appointment, I can now get my feet wet! I can't stand in the shower yet so will need to carry on using the stool, but it will be so nice to finally wash those feet, it's been such a long time.

All in all, whilst today wasn't quite as "Up" as I was expecting, it was great to get to the midway point and to finally see my feet. I now can't wait for the six week appointment and am looking forward to buying some good supportive trainers in the hope that when I walk out of the hospital, they will be on my feet and I can say goodbye to the sexy space shoes!!

Day 21 - Half way booties!

I'm chuffed that today is the end of my third week post osteotomy, and therefore half way to hopefully getting these boots off! In the past week I've seen the biggest improvement and am feeling a little better in myself. I'm still mega frustrated, and mentally I have a way to go, but can feel improvements and am getting more capable of doing things for myself so my general mood is lifting.

This week we've had the weather that should happen in July - it's been so hot, around 33 degrees C on Tuesday. Most people would love this, especially when off work, however for me, this was the last thing I wanted. My feet are so hot and they swell more in the heat which makes them throb more. I was staying at my sisters for a few days as my husband was away with work and I ended up having to hide in her spare room most of the day as everywhere else was far too hot.

The only upside was that after two weeks I was allowed to remove the heel-wedge boot when I'm not walking so used the opportunity of a double bed without my husband to try sleeping without the boots. It was weird, as I felt subconsciously that I was more likely to damage something, or the risk of getting up in the night by accident, but I did manage to find a much more comfortable position without the boot on, and therefore got a better night's sleep. I've been sleeping since then without the boots on and am feeling much better as a result. It also helps in the heat to be able to take the boot off as they are similar to walking boots in terms of the weight.

My mobility has improved greatly, I can now hobble without my crutches, meaning I can carry light things such as a cup of tea - although it's not ideal to walk without crutches but it does make me feel better to be less dependent on others ALL the time.

I have put on weight in the last three weeks, I'm not sure how much as I haven't worked out how to get on the scale without my space boots, but I feel much fuller and it doesn't help that my muscles are majorly atrophying at the same time. I am dying to get out and have a mad burst of energy and to feel my heart pumped for once, I never thought I would miss exercising this much!! Next week I think I'm going to have to do a bit of a diet to decrease my calorie intake - I'm not expecting to lose a lot due to lack of exercise, but I think I need to cut back otherwise nothing will fit me by the time I can walk again!

I'm looking forward now to Monday when I will get the bandages removed - I don't know what they will be putting in place of the bandage but I believe I will then also be allowed to get my foot wet which means I can FINALLY wash my feet 😊😊😊, the thought of this makes me very happy! I'll also be starting my physio exercises on Monday, which involved bending my toes up and down until they hurt - not looking forward to this as I hear it's really painful, but I am excited about the prospect of seeing my feet, seeing the damage from the incisions (hope they're not too bad) and being able to move my toes! All steps to getting back to normal!

Day 17 - Heatwave

I just had to do a count of the days since my operation and yippee it's 17! Time is definitely not flying by - however, as each and every day passes I am getting a little bit better and things are becoming a bit easier. I still have a looong way to do - 24 days till my 6 week checkup and potentially being able to put my foot on the floor and I am counting down!

Today I've noticed a big improvement in my mobility, I am able to hobble around with just one crutch which means I can carry a cup of tea and am just generally more steady. Getting up isn't as uncomfortable anymore so I can be a little quicker now. However - I know I need to go careful as this is exactly the type of attitude that leads to accidents like last Monday, more info on that here. My heels are also so so sore - if I walk for more than two minutes now they ache so badly from all the pressure they get - they are doing a fab job of taking the brunt of all of this - I really wish I could give them a clean or buff them up a bit, not too long before I get these bandages off!

Something I have found as a bit of a pastime to keep me busy whilst I'm off my feet is to dream about, and look online for new shoes I can wear when I have normal feet again. I have bought several pairs of shoes now, which obviously I can't try on but it's sale season and so some of these shoes I've had my eye on for ages, I just thought it would be a good thing to look forward to. Need to watch this however as I'm getting poorer by the minute!

It is SO hot today, boiling - yes I know it's the middle of July, but so far it's been cool and misty since the op and this has been quite nice as, as you can imagine, my feet are not in prime heat-tolerating condition right now. If I can make a comparison, it is like wearing a pair of thick walking socks, and then putting your walking boots on, and then wearing them ALL THE TIME!!! I have been wearing these in bed as well, so when it's hot it is dire! The consultant said to wear the heel walker boots for two weeks constantly, and then after that just for walking around in. This is all fine now that I'm past the two week mark, it means I can take them off, however after last Monday's episode I am so terrified of walking on my feet without the boots by mistake and so figure it can't hurt to keep them on as much as possible. However it was so hot I decided to be brave and take them off this afternoon for a bit - they were literally off for about three minutes until I saw a delivery van appear outside and had to sprint to get the boots back on so I could get to the door, not a fun panic, and probably not safe - so I think this is a sign I really should just keep the boots on - I'm a very clumsy person and it's not worth taking any risks!!

Day 16 - What a difference a weekend makes

This weekend was really mixed but I feel I have come out of it much stronger! Saturday was another hard day, hubby spent the whole day doing things outside and everyone else nearby was either out or entertaining their own guests, so I was all alone and it was the first day I really felt like getting some fresh air - cabin fever had truly set in and I was feeling agitated. I again got really teary as I realised how dependent I am on other people, so spoke to hubby and we decided to go for a drive. We drove to a hill nearby (we live in the countryside) with a beautiful lookout and just looked at the view for a bit. We then went to his parents for a cup of tea and ended up having supper. Apart from finding it hard to get comfy anywhere other than my sofa, it was nice to get out of the house and a change of scenery even if just for a few hours. My mother-in-law played a card game with me for a while which was nice to take my mind off everything. Even though everything takes a very long time, having to hobble everywhere and only managing two minutes on my feet before my feet turn purple is tricky - but I strongly recommend anyone having this surgery gets out when they can once the first few weeks have passed - it will really help to keep you sane.

On Sunday we had really lovely whether so hubby drove me up to my sisters for a bbq. I managed to make it through eating an entire meal with my feet hanging down from the chair without them exploding - had to get my feet back up straight away afterwards but again little improvements are happening! It was again really nice to get out and to feel the sunshine for a little while.

On the downside I'm really sore and stiff at the moment, all of my muscles are tight and I can't seem to stretch them out to any satisfactory level. I really wish I could just put some trainers on and go running, or jump about on the squash court. I hate just sitting around, it really drags me down and anyone who knows me knows I am a busy, positive and energetic person, so I really don't feel like me at the moment. BUT whilst I'm moaning and being pessimistic, I must make it clear I am very aware that there is a HUGE reason I am doing this, that it is only temporary and for some people, things like this are permanent. So I never lose perspective and I'm trying with every day to be more and more positive and look forward to reaping the rewards of doing this.

An overview of my recovery plan

I've noticed that a lot of other bunion surgery blogs seem to have different stories of recovery times, procedures and surgeon advice, which I've found so confusing that things can be so different, so I thought it might be helpful to clarify my procedure and the advice from my surgeon.

The procedure I had was a Scarf and Akin Osteotomy. I have been partial weight bearing (on heel walker boots) since day 1 post-op, and was told to wear these continuously for two weeks, including in bed. After two weeks, I just have to wear them for walking. As I have had both feet operated on and so mobility severely reduced I had to inject myself with Clexane injections (a type of heparin, blood thinning med) to prevent a DVT (my husband ended up giving me the injections).

At the end of the two weeks of injections, I had to go to the doctors to have my platelet level checked. And then at three weeks I get to go back to the hospital to have the initial dressings removed. I believe that I have dissolvable stitches as I haven't had to have these taken out, but I guess I'll find out for sure when I have my three week appointment. At this point I will have to start doing physio on my toes to try and restore movement.

I will then have another three weeks with a reduced dressing and continuing to wear the boots before a six week appointment with my consultant and X-ray to check that recovery has/is going well. Then at this point I should be able to weight bear and start wearing shoes/flip flops, but swelling will still be an issue for up to a year.

For anyone reading this and having surgery, this information should not be used as advice in any way and shouldn't ever replace what your doctor has advised - it's just so that you can know if your procedure and recovery plan is similar as I know it would've helped me to know about other people's plans.

Day 14 - Two weeks!!!!!

I really can't believe it but today is exactly two weeks since my operation. This week has definitely gone faster than the first week, and has been a little easier, although it has brought new challenges. I'm officially one third of the way through my stint with the heel walking boots - these seem to be my nemesis and the main milestone I am looking forward to moving on from. I'm very aware that at 6 weeks, when I start full-weight bearing, will be painful, challenging, slow, and that I won't be able to wear proper shoes for a while still, but I'm really looking forward to not worrying every time my foot touches the floor.

My first piece of advice on week two of recovery is don't do too much(!!!) I've read this so many times on blogs, on forums and on patient advice documents, but it's still very easy to think that if you start feeling a little better that you are much further recovered than you actually are. Monday was a clear example of this when I jumped up - obviously this was an accident, but an example of how going too fast too soon can have bad consequences, physically and mentally.

Thankfully, my symptoms from Monday's little meltdown have settled down a bit - I'm still getting some aggravation, and still not sure if it was just a coincidence or not, but then pain has decreased which I'm thankful for as I almost called the hospital to go back in at one point.

Today I had a doctors appointment to check my platelet level after two weeks of blood thinning injections. My last injection was yesterday so it now means I need to do a bit more to keep my circulation going, whilst I still can't get around much due to swelling, and therefore pain.

I'm getting squishy - I can feel it all over. I was always quite proud before of having strong legs, but I can feel the muscle softening with every minute of sitting on my behind. I am clutching at being able to go for a run, go to a gym, play squash, dance! I might look into getting a trainer when I am back to normal(ish) so that I can build some strength. I also want to work on my core which is something I have struggled with, having poor balance due to my bunions and having a curved spine!

However, today I did manage a very small workout (and I mean VERY small). I did some arm dips off the side of the sofa, being sure to keep my heels down and toes up on the floor. I then put my feet up on a cushion by the window and did some ab curls, and shoulder bridges, and also used my trigger point balls (these have been a godsend). I then moved back to the floor and did some leg raises - couldn't manage many of these as I could feel the strain pulling through my toes and it was just too uncomfortable.

With regards to general recovery - many people might think that it's just your feet you are having operated on - but it is so much more than that and it does take it's toll. Today I had a friend come to visit for a couple of hours, and I was exhausted by the time he left. I also found going to the doctors exhausting. I had to walk with my crutches into the reception and through to the nurses area (not far at all!!!) and I was so tired - to the point of being nearly out of breath, just from two weeks of pure immobility! It was horrible and I can't wait to get my fitness back up to scratch. It just shows that even though my feet aren't in as much pain, I am still a LONG way from being recovered.

Very happy to be two weeks in however, feel like the worst of it is slowly passing and looking forward to feeling better every day!

Day 10 - Meltdown

Today was not a good day sadly...

I started off the day so well. It was my husband's first day back at work, he'd been working from home all last week so that he was around to help me, but unfortunately that couldn't last forever so he was back to the office. I wanted to help him out so managed to shower myself and get ready - it was hard but I thought I need to make some small steps to getting independent. Hubby made me a tall flask of tea to keep by the sofa so I could have it on demand and set up my cushions, so I was all set for the day, feeling fairly positive.

And then it happened...

The cat came in late morning and he must have had a furball or something but he started wretching as if he was about to be imminently sick on our carpet. At this point all thoughts of the surgery, stitches, broken bones and heel walking boots disappeared from my mind and I leapt up to go and pick the cat up before he was sick. I suddenly found myself in the middle of the living room struggling to balance and wondering why. It was like I'd stood up after a few to many drinks and realising I can't feel my legs. I had completely forgotten about it all in the moment!! It didn't hurt, but I immediately had the strong sense that I really shouldn't have leapt to my feet like that and panicked. Shortly after my feet started hurting more than usual and I completely freaked out! I took all my pain medication but could still feel it twinging and shooting. I had such a panic that I'd damaged something, then the pain medication took hold and made me feel so down, I really couldn't pick myself up for the rest of the day.

I spent most of the afternoon really teary and everyone was trying to reassure me it would be fine. When hubby arrived home he suggested I call the hospital for advice if I was still concerned to put my mind at rest. I gave them a call to ask and the nurse said it was highly unlikely I would've damaged anything and to get my feet up in the air and take my pain meds as usual. This relieved me a little.

The strange thing is that since this happened, I've developed a sharp feeling right in the crease of my big toe - right where one of the staples is. This is my main concern, that I've dislodged something and it might not heal properly, or worse, the bunion could come back. I really can't wait now for the six week appointment so I can see what has happened to my feet.

Finding this whole thing so so much harder than I ever expected. I really wish I could feel upbeat but it is impossible, and I'm normally such a happy person.

Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow...

Day 7 - End of week one round up

I am delighted to say that exactly one week ago I had my double bunion surgery - whoop! I've officially made it through week one, which I wasn't sure I'd manage for the first few days. Still got a veeeery long way to go, but here are some of the things I've learned/observed during the first few weeks.

1. Expect it to be hard - I hadn't ever envisaged that not being able to walk would be difficult and it really took me by surprise.

2. It will hurt - but the pain will subside by around day 5. Don't get me wrong I do still get some pain, especially if I've been a little too long on the crutches and towards the end of the day, but my pain meds have reduced significantly over the past week.

3. Embrace the heel walkers - they are awful to begin with and very uncomfortable/painful. I was convinced I would crack all the bones in my feet by using them for the first few days, however once the pain subsides a little and you get a technique they are manageable.

4. In addition to the above - go careful on your heel walkers and don't overdo it. The main times that I have experienced pain from walking is when I've been trying to do something that I really shouldn't be, like attempting to carry a cup of tea and using a crutch one handed - it's not safe and if you damage yourself then you will feel awful -it's not worth it and you can easily lose your balance so take it steady.

5. Shower stool is a must - the one I bought is like a little bench and fits snugly in the bath so I can hang my legs over the side propped up on something, then I use the shower hose to wash my upper body with. For me, there is nothing like being clean and having washed hair to make you feel better and even though it takes AGES to get up the stairs, and get washed, it is so lovely and easy with the stool. Make sure you have someone to help with this though!!

This shower seat is great and has sucker pads on the bottom so it doesn't slide around. I ordered it from https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/bathing-aids/bath-seats/medeci-bath-seat-305mm

6. Get lots of food in - the night before surgery I spring cleaned the house, did all the laundry and did a HUGE food shop - this meant that my husband, whilst ferrying around doing everything else for me, had one less thing to worry about, and also meant I had all the things I like in house which you will want when you are feeling down in the dumps.

7. Have someone you trust to help you - I'm not going to lie, I have probably been a nightmare to live with this week, I've been emotional (up and mostly down), I've been indecisive, I've been in pain, I've been immobile and I've also wanted things done exactly how I like them (learning to let go of this one a little) - thankfully my husband agreed to love me no matter what on our wedding day so he sort of had to put up with it, but most people would've run for the hills and so it's really important to have someone you know will accept all the ups and downs you will experience - he has been an absolute pillar for me and I am so grateful.

8. Don't expect to do too much in the first week - I have books, a computer, an iPad, DVDs, Netflix, music, games - all sorts to entertain me - and yet for the first five days I literally stared at the wall as there was no energy in me. Most likely this was due to the pain medication - but just be aware this might happen and I'm pretty sure is ok.

9. Expect all sorts of weird feelings in your feet - I get them all the time, from twitching toes, to severe itching, burning, tingling, stabbing and shooting pains, tightness, stiffness - I've experienced everything. Now I haven't had any check ups yet, that won't happen for another few weeks, and being the anxious person I am, I've spent so much time looking up bunion surgery recovery and what's normal and what to expect etc. I think what I've observed is that generally there is no normal, and that providing the overall pain is going down in your feet, and you're not overdoing it then hopefully all should be fine.

10. Get some pilates experience beforehand - sitting around all day is really hard work, and can be really uncomfortable and make you stiff. I'm grateful I have a few ace stretches up my sleeve that I can call upon when needed, that doesn't affect my feet. The added control you get with your balance and strength is useful for heel walking too.

11. General fitness will help you - when I was in the hospital, the nurses were quite impressed with how I managed to manoeuvre myself off the bed and onto a wheelchair with my arms and not putting my feet down - I'm no gym-nut, and I'm usually just about at the higher end of the normal weight bracket, but the exercise and general healthy lifestyle I usually has did help me. I think I would find this more challenging if I was older, heavier or less fit.

12. Set up a good base which is as near to the toilet as possible and have lots of cushions around you. You will want to prop your feet up in all sorts of positions, and have cushions behind your back to support you so have plenty on hand to make sure you stay comfy. The only thing you will need frequent access to is the toilet so factor this in to the location of where you are going to set up. Also advise to have this ready before you go into hospital so that when you come back you can just flop - you won't feel great when you return home so this was nice to come back to.

13. Some useful items to have in advance are:

• a bed tray - useful for eating your meals so you don't have to get up to the table every time
• wheelchair - only used once this week, but necessary anytime you want to go out of the house really (crutches will take far too long and hurt)
• comfy clothes - I went shopping and bought some new pyjamas, new hoodies, tracksuit bottoms and baggy sports shorts as I wanted to make sure I was super comfy whilst recovering. The boots will be clunky so getting clothes on and off is quite tricky so make sure any trouser/pant style clothes have wide foot holes. 

That list ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be - whoops! But hopefully might help anyone planning for this sort of procedure in the future. 

Little update from today - my family have all been on at me to get out of the house this week, so ended up rolling down (literally) to my parents' house this evening to eat dinner. They only live a few houses down the road so it wasn't far - it was nice to sit in the garden and get some fresh air and see the sun for a bit. I didn't manage it for too long and quite fancied getting back to my comfort zone - but was still a step in the right direction to moving around

Out and about in my wheelchair

Day 5 - Itching

Today I feel like I'm slowly turning round a very small, narrow corner. The pain is a little more bearable, reduced to more of a discomfort when I stand and walk, and only really bothering me if I knock my foot or press it by accident on it's side. I am getting much quicker at heel walking, and so trips to the toilet aren't quite as much trouble - still slow, but then Rome wasn't built in a day was it?

Sadly, the pain today appears to have been replaced by incessant itching! I can feel where the incisions were made and it's almost unbearable, along with the bottoms of my ankles where the bandages go up to. Eek I don't know if I can cope with this for another two and a bit weeks!!

I wish I could get over the lethargy - my husband suggested some things which might keep my mind occupied but I ended up just getting frustrated as I actually have PLENTY to do - I'm just too wiped out to do any of it for more than five minutes.

I popped into the garden again for a couple of minutes while the sun was setting, and heel walked round the side of the house with hubby - that's when it hit me, I suddenly felt my left foot go really hot, looked down and my toes were purple!!! I knew about swelling but this was crazy - I decided to hobble back indoors and could now feel a big hot sack of fluid where the arch of my foot usually is. It was not pleasant and I very quickly got my feet up in the air. Weird that this only occurred on my left foot and not my right one.....! I'd been quite thankful as so far I hadn't really noticed a huge amount of swelling, but clearly I'm not immune.

I'm eating a lot more than normal - I think it's partial boredom, and partial feeling sorry for myself. I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt just for a short while as I have felt so down and crappy this week that I didn't want to start feeling bad about anything else - but will have to try and combat this and be a bit more sensible in the coming weeks.

I'm pleased that I'm getting used to the injections now. Hubby is still administering them for me, and I'm happy to let him get on with it as it's not something I am really dying to learn to do. It generally doesn't hurt apart from about two minutes after the injection has been taken out it stings a bit. Probably better than developing a DVT I imagine however.

Tonight I am going to attempt (!) to sleep in my bed upstairs, for the first time since before I went into hospital last Friday. I've so far remained on the sofa, as I can sort of wedge myself into position with cushions to protect my feet and keep them up. However I'm finding that I'm waking up with a sore back, and really fancy a change of scenery between the days. I also need to have a shower in the morning, so just saves me my mountainous climb in the morning I guess....

Day 4 - Tedious

So today I made a breakthrough achievement - this was my first day without tears!!! That sounds so depressing, but it's true this whole process has so far been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster - much more so than I was expecting!

Today's post is dedicated to the boredom suffered in this recovery process. I have to keep my feet elevated, ideally above my heart, for the first three weeks, excluding short trips to the toilet and for meals. This essentially means lying down or sitting propped under cushions all day long. It can get quite sore, but it's also just boring - to the extent where I'm having dreams just about walking around - weird!

Things did feel like they were improving today. I'm still tired and lethargic, keep drifting off - but the pain has certainly reduced and I don't feel quite so terrified on my heel walking boots today. To such an extent that after a trip to the toilet this afternoon, I saw the back door was open and it was such a lovely day that I thought I'd stroll into the sunshine. It's only about 4 metres or so to the table in the garden but it was so nice with the sun on my face!! I don't think it's a great idea as the grass was pretty uneven and I did have to steady myself on one or two occasions, but it was heaven, even if just for two minutes. It's the little things getting me through 😊☀️🌳

Day 3 - Relinquishing control

So it turns out this surgery has firmly confirmed something I have always largely suspected of myself - I am an utter and complete control freak!

Today's largest struggle has generally been about not being able to do things, but more than that, it's about not being able to do things the way I would do them. I generally do most of the housekeeping at home. Me and my husband have always had pre-agreed roles, i.e I do the cooking, and he clears up and does the dishes afterwards. He's being brilliant and has taken to working from home this week to help me with everything, but it still is hard not being able to do things and have everything the way I would have it. I'm seriously going to have to let go of this over the coming weeks/months or it's going to drag me down.

I joined a fab health forum patient.info today which has a section on it for bunions, including bunion surgery recovery, so I have asked about the heel walking scenario and whether other people have struggled with it too. This is the main area of the surgery that I am finding difficult and is bringing me down. I find it so uncomfortable and stressful having to heel walk. I worry every single time that I am damaging my feet in some way and that the screws are going to pop out or get dislodged, and that it won't have worked and I'll require further surgery. I'm a natural worrier anyway, have had some anxiety issues, and I think my mind is just looking for something to fixate on to worry about. Anyway the forum was great and lots of other people seemed to have similar concerns and difficulties with the heel walking, so that's reassuring at the least.

Thankfully when I get back to the sofa and have my feet in the air it all tends to calm down - but then it does make me awfully sleepy and lethargic. Can't seem to win!

Starting to feel quite stiff by lunchtime - who'd have thought that sitting around could bring such troubles, so I managed to lower myself onto the floor lying down, with my feet up on the sofa and do a few Pilates moves. I could manage a shoulder bridge and some arm rotations, slightly adapted of course to make sure no weight was pressed on my feet. One thing that has been a godsend are my trigger point balls - these are great for sticking anywhere where there is a sore or stiff muscle and it just relieves a lot of tension. While I was lying on the floor I placed these under my shoulders and rotated my arms - it was heaven!!

These trigger point balls are a lifesaver!

I managed to make myself a cup of tea today which I was rather proud of too. Still pretty unsteady on my crutches so need to watch this as it would be awful if I damaged myself in any way.

Day 2 - Achievements

I'm quite proud today I reached a few milestones which I feel I ought to be proud of:

1. I had a reasonable nights sleep
2. I made it to the toilet by myself first thing
3. I managed to get UP THE STAIRS!
4. I had a shower (best news of all)
5. I made it all night without pain killers!

To the every day person, these seem like easy feats, but given that it takes me around 15 minutes to get to the toilet and back (which is only about 10 metres or so away) - this is all pretty epic stuff!

Showering was probably the best - I had preplanned and bought a little bench that goes in the bath/shower and has little sucker pads on the feet so it won't move around. So I sat on this and swung my legs over the side of the bath, propped up on something so they are still raised. My husband wrapped a clean towel around my feet to protect them and I used the shower head/hose to wash my upper body - this was AMAZING!!! I got to wash my hair, and get that horrible hospital feeling off me. Weird that such a mundane and everyday thing can bring such joy but it was brill!! It is a real struggle to get to the shower though as this means getting upstairs and I'm finding general moving around to be really painful, so I think I will have to limit this to once every few days as I don't want to over-do it.

At this point I must commend my fantastic husband for all the work he is putting into helping my recovery. He's been brilliant, getting anything I need and helping me with everything. I really can't express more highly how important it is to have someone physically able, and most importantly that you trust to help you. My husband has taken on the duty of administering my Clexane (blood thinning) injections as I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm usually fine with needles, but after the shock of having it in the hospital, have found the idea of doing it to myself really nerve-wracking. Hopefully I can pluck up the courage to do at least one however.

At the moment getting around is by far the hardest thing to do - the pain is bad, but so long as you keep your legs raised it is generally tolerable, at least with pain killers. As soon as you put your feet down to get to the toilet or anywhere, it is EXCRUCIATING - your feet just throb and feel hot and I can feel the scar/stitches stinging and stabbing - so my long long journey to the toilet really is hard work, and I'm not sure my technique is getting any better on the space boots as it just hurts so much.

I do have to keep reminding myself however that I'm still only 2 days post op so I need to be realistic and give it time.

The evening was good but again emotional, Mum and Dad were fantastic and brought round a roast dinner (they only live 6 houses away from us so not to tricky to do meals on wheels 😊) and I managed to get to the table and sit with my feet propped up on a chair with cushions on. It was fine but the pain was starting to come on quite strongly and I just started to feel really down. People were trying to remind me why I had had this done and how lucky I was etc. but it doesn't help. When you are feeling crappy, all you want is a hug and for someone to tell you it's all going to be ok. My advice for anyone who knows someone who has had this sort of procedure, don't make it out like they chose to go through this!! Yes, it is a choice, but only because the every day pain was so bad that they had to do it as the thought of living every day was so much worse. It doesn't make it any less painful or awful what is happening to you right there and then. You will feel down, I certainly have since this whole thing happened, I keep getting teary, I'm pretty sure it's normal - again, I am still only TWO DAYS post operative, you are bound to have some emotions going through you. So, yes whilst it is a choice (one you shouldn't have to have in the first place - not everyone has bad feet!!), it really is a necessity and it is a hard thing to deal with - so just a little piece of advice to any supporters or carers out thereto be gentle.

Mum and Dad were lovely and stayed to remake my little sofa-bed area as it was starting to get a little "worn" from my permanent existence on it. Took a pregabalin shortly before bed and thankfully drifted off easily and had another good night!!

Day 1 - Post Surgery (Ouch!)

Today was really hard. I'd been expecting it to be, but that didn't make it any easier.

I didn't sleep too well the night in hospital due to the snoring lady, managed to get a couple of hours in early morning but was woken at 8am for breakfast and to have my obs done (blood pressure, heart rate, temp etc.) Pain was still being managed by regular painkillers, I think it's fair to say that if they make a painkiller - I've had it whilst in hospital!!

I worry that I'm putting people off with talking so much about the pain. Let me explain that yes, it is painful, once the pain block wears off from your feet about 24 hours after surgery, your feet feel extremely sore - almost like a very intense version of the bunion pain you will have experienced before - however it really is manageable with pain medication and *fingers crossed* am hoping it will all be worth it - no pain, no gain etc...

So during the morning in hospital the physios arrived to teach me how to walk with these new sexy space boots they'd given me. "WALK???!!!" I thought, "How can I possibly walk?!" - I was really put off the idea. I think I'd read somewhere that if you put too much pressure on your feet too soon, you can crack all the bones and it could revert back to a bunion again. They assured me it would all be fine and my lovely sister who had visited was supporting me. The main point was that they wouldn't discharge me from the hospital until I could prove I was able to walk using the boots and crutches - so after a lot of tears and struggling - I finally managed to do it. It was uncomfortable to begin with, and you do feel as if you're putting pressure on your feet, not to mention having them dangling below you means the blood is rushing to them so they start to throb - but it was better knowing that I would at least be able to shuffle my way (very slowly) round the house if needs be, as I had no idea I would be able to walk at all for the next six weeks.

After learning to walk with the crutches, I was told I could go home. They gave me a tramadol (best pain medication EVER!) which knocked me out a bit, and everything was very hazy for the next few hours. My husband and sister helped me as they wheeled me out of the hospital and into the car and off we went...

Getting home was fine, I had pre-planned and set up the sofa with duvets and cushions, as had planned for this to be my base for the next few weeks. I managed to hobble to the toilet with my crutches before getting settled on the sofa. It was once I had got comfy on the sofa that once again that emotion hit me again and the tears started flooding. I'm not usually such an emotional person, I've never cried at the Lion King(!) but the past twenty four hours or so had been so up and down and it was really taking its toll!

The pain today was really intense and now that I was out of hospital, I had to manage the medication I was taking myself - as opposed to the lovely little routine of just asking for something and being given a little magic pill everytime!

I had a bit of a sleep on the sofa whilst hubby washed the cars and did the garden, keeping his phone on him in case I needed him. When I woke up that was when it hit me that I am going to be VERY bored over the next few weeks. I had only been awake for about ten minutes and was already desperate for some company - someone to come and take my mind off the pain. I am extremely lucky as my parents live only 6 doors away from us and are both home-based, and my sister is just a few streets away so including my husband, I have a very nice little network of happy helpers around me.

Everyone then came over, including my three year old nephew who found it a bit strange seeing Auntie hobbling around with some great metal sticks and it was nice to have a giggle and talk about other stuff for a while.

One thing I am finding strange is the weird twitching feeling in my feet, probably part of them coming back to life from the anaesthetic, but it's weird having your feet spasming from time to time.

Drifted off on the sofa and managed to sleep without pain medication from 8pm onwards - bonus. It was hurting, but not severe enough to be desperate so I thought I would try my best without. Sofa was comfy enough so off to bed we go. It had been a really tough day, learning to overcome the fear of walking and coming out of hospital, not to mention the added pain when walking/moving, and the general emotion of going through something pretty impactful on your daily life.

Glad to be home though...

Day 0 - The Surgery

I'm writing this about 30 hours post surgery - so will do my best to recap what has happened to me since yesterday morning...

I was so nervous yesterday, having not been in hospital since I was five years old, it was a scary and unfamiliar environment to be in. They took me through to the consultation area, where they check all your details and do a few tests, made sure I wasn't pregnant etc. then they get you all gowned up and ready to go through to theatre. My lovely husband was with me and being so supportive as I was pretty much shaking from nerves and got quite teary at one point. Eventually the time came so I said goodbye and strolled off with the nurses into the theatre room.

They were all so lovely and the anaesthetic was quite fun, I could feel my body resisting it, almost like a surging feeling, which was so strange - but then I disappeared into dreamland, waking several hours later not recognising where I was.

They had said prior to the surgery that they would give me a pain block in both of my feet to keep them numb, which would last around 24 hours. The odd thing for me was that when I woke up, my left foot was really painful - it felt like someone had shoved a blade of glass into the top of my foot, slightly disconcerting as I was expecting it to be numb. My right foot however was happily asleep. I asked the nurse to give me something and again got very teary (there's a trend occurring here!) so they gave me an opiate, similar to morphine to reduce it. It did get better, but wasn't great.

First view of my feet after waking up - this is what they will look like for the next few weeks

The next challenge was that I woke up DESPERATE to go to the loo. Surprising as I hadn't had a drink since the day before, being nil-by-mouth, but realised the drip was hydrating me nicely. This was not pleasant at all!!! I don't need to go into much detail just to say that going to the toilet when you don't have the use of your feet, is neither glamorous, comfortable or dignified in any way - however by this point I really didn't care!

My husband and my mum arrived and we went up to the ward where I was to stay overnight. I felt I was pretty "with it" during this time, however a few hours later I really couldn't remember much, so perhaps not. My feet, particularly the left one, were a bit achy so they gave me some codeine and paracetamol which seemed to keep it at bay. Again I got very teary, for no real reason other than perhaps being a bit overwhelmed. It was at this point I started to feel frustrated - I couldn't do anything, which I knew would be the case, but it doesn't make it any less difficult when you are actually faced with it. The pain medication kept on coming, so thankfully I didn't feel too much more than just a dull ache and a stinging sensation from time to time. We managed to get the hospital bed tilted back so my feet were raised and this made the world of difference! If I can give anyone advice it would be to get your feet as high as you possibly can as soon as possible!

The night was ok, apart from the lovely lady in the room with me snoring so loudly I couldn't get to sleep, but I was comfortable at least. I woke up at 1am in the most agony I have felt since the operation and had to call the nurses in and ask for something extra super strong - they were brilliant and brought something back for me to take - I have no idea what it was, but it was brilliant and kept the pain away until the early hours of the morning. Another piece of advice I would give is to take whatever pain medication they can offer, as often as you can. They say the pain should subside in the first few days so it's only a short term solution but it really does help.

All in all, the first day wasn't too bad. I was a bit overwhelmed as you can imagine, and a lot of it was just a blur due to the variety of medication I was on, but was being well looked after and trying to be optimistic....

14 year battle finally won!

Welcome to post one of my Happy Feet diary. First let me explain why I am here telling my story...

I have had bunions ever since I can remember, and as a teenager I would often trip over for no reason at all, which is pretty embarrassing at that age. I didn't realise at the time that it was due to my bunions, I thought that I was just being careless, but I've now learned what a horrible impact bunions can have on your balance and posture.

In addition to my bunions, the big toe on my right foot has always been bent due to the tendon being too short. This caused me so much pain when wearing any shoe as the knuckle bit of my toe would rub constantly - shoes aren't designed for toes that stick upwards it seems!!! Over the years this got so bad that it damaged the nail plate on that toe and has destroyed my toenail, another fun factor of having this problem!!

When I was 13, my mum took me to see an Orthopaedic surgeon, who told me I would need surgery, but to wait until I was 18 as I hadn't fully developed. No problem I thought, I can wait until I'm 18. So there I am, toddling along to the doctor aged 18 ready to be referred for surgery only to be told there's nothing they can do for me and perhaps I should see a chiropodist. I didn't argue the case, confrontation has never really been my thing, and I just let it lie for a few years.

I went back when I was about 23/24 - but again got turned down, saying they don't really do bunion surgery these days anymore. I should've been more persuasive but again, just walked away disappointed.

I went back time and time again to the GP, each time getting fobbed off by the same story, "they won't even consider it unless you have children that you can no longer care for" or "your job isn't impacted by this so there's nothing we can do" - never mind the daily agony I was in, the bleeding from shoes having to stretch to accommodate my malformed feet, the constant tripping over and balance issues I was having.

Eventually I was so upset with the rejection, I just sat there and cried to the doctor, she still wouldn't refer me to a surgeon - but she offered me treatment via the musculoskeletal clinic. This was the biggest waste of time and money. I was given orthotics which made my feet hurt even more, and told to do exercises to strengthen my hips. All worthwhile advice, but it didn't stop the fact that my feet are the WRONG SHAPE!!!

I continued my quest to get a referral and finally luck struck when the appointment I made was with a locum, who probably hadn't yet been briefed on the "don't refer anybody policy" - he referred me without question and I practically skipped out of the doctor surgery and all the way home!

The appointment came and I was prepared to go in with a bit of a fight, having been told time and time again by the GPs that they would only operate if my job was affected or if I couldn't care for people etc. However when I arrived at the hospital there was none of that - they took an x-ray and the consultant took one look at it and instantly offered me a double bunion surgery. I had to hold back shouting "yippee" at the top of my voice, but I really couldn't believe it. Now, aged 27, I had FINALLY been given the news that I had been waiting for since I was 13 - I was going to have my feet fixed!!!

In the run up to my surgery, I read a few blogs that people had put together who have gone through the same thing. I found these to be so helpful, so have decided to follow suit, in the hope that someone, somewhere, might be helped by reading about my experience. I doubt it will all be plain sailing, but I will try to give as much detail and advice as possible. 😀👍🏼

My feet before surgery - you can see the bunion on the left foot and on the right you can see the tendon pulling at the top of my foot to my big toe and the toenail has discoloured as the toe is s swollen and red