Week 12 - Final Checkup!

Yesterday marked 12 weeks since my double bunionectomy. Here are some of the things I have learned in the last three months...

1. Bunion surgery is hard. The pain is tough for the first few days, but after that it is manageable with intermittent drugs. The immobility is a killer - it seriously affected my mood and emotional state for the six weeks I was unable to walk properly.

2. The recovery is slow - you don't just get to six weeks and hop back to it, you need to give it time and allow as much time to focus on yourself as possible. I think overall I have had a really smooth ride compared to most. Possibly that's age related, or health related, however I am certain that a factor of this is due to me doing exactly what the doctor ordered - I stayed off my feet, I stayed off work, I did my exercises (man they were painful!) and I elevated at every opportunity. I have heard some horror stories of people who have had ongoing problems and while I it is probably early days still, I don't feel that I will have any major lasting issues - so I am pleased that I allowed myself to recover fully before attempting normal life again.

3. Preparation is key. I am really glad I prepared as much as I could before the surgery getting everything in place - you can read more about preparation tips in another post here

4. Patience is a real virtue! I lost my temper on many occasions, usually when I did something that hurt, making me panic that I'd damaged something - I never did though, turns out bones are more hardy than we give credit for! Every day I would climb into bed and tick the days off until my 6 week appointment when I could walk again. I thought it would never come but, guess what.. it did! So stay patient - you will get there!

5. Noone is going to truly understand what are going through except for you, and anyone else who has been through double bunion surgery. I had lots of people ask me, "are you going back to work soon, the rest of you works fine" or telling me to get out of the house and that doing something will make me feel better. Some days I wanted to go out, other days I wanted to hide under a duvet and not see anybody. It wasn't just my feet that were affected - it was my whole body, my mental state etc. And whilst going out was good at times, most of the time it was really uncomfortable as you can' elevate your feet the same way and then your back and hips hurt etc, or your feet throb, which makes it worse - so always go at whatever pace you feel like.

Anyway... despite all of the above points I am SO HAPPY that I had this surgery done. It has transformed me already. All of the pain and grief and feeling depressed was worth it, and if I knew how much better my feet would be I probably wouldn't have felt quite so awful! So my advice to anyone who is either contemplating surgery or is going through recovery is - stay strong and look forward to a better life with better feet because you will get there 😊

So a few updates from the last week or so...

I had my 12 week checkup on Friday with my surgeon. It was great and he was really pleased with my progress - he said I should be back to wearing normal shoes at about 6 months and to keep going with the exercises, but all in all a great recovery!!

There hasn't been a huge change in terms of progress in the last week, I feel as though any changes will be minimal and slow now as I near the fully recovered state. The main things now are the small amount of swelling I have, just waiting for this to fully go down. However this has vastly improved in the last 2-3 weeks. I can now wear some pumps, a pair of the looser ones from before my surgery, which is great as it means I don't look quite so clunky (I really don't enjoy wearing trainers unless I'm exercising). I do get the occasional moment where my feet go really fat again and am at risk of blisters if I overdo it, so sensible shoes are still really important.

One thing I am really excited about is I am pretty sure my toenail on my right foot is starting to grow back normally. I have been seeing a dermatologist for over a year now to try and workout why I have a toenail that looks like it has a fungal infection, and yet despite 5 different tests, has no trace of infection. I tried antibiotics, steroids, antifungal tablets (which can really damage your liver) and nothing would make it better. What we started to think was that because the toe was permanently bent, the bend just below the nail was always rubbing, and so we think (as in, me and my dermatologist) that this was destroying the nail bed and causing the nail to grow wrongly, almost to the point where the nail was dying. I have been wearing nail polish since my bandages came off and the other day when I changed the polish - I noticed a small cuticle and a pink bit at the bottom of the nail - which I haven't seen for nearly three years!!! I've put the polish on them again, but praying that next time I look they'll be a bit better. I was so self conscious about this nail, so desperately hoping that it is on the mend too!!

I still need to get fit - I attempted to start dieting this week, which started off well, but after getting some bad news that I didn't get a promotion I had gone for, it kind of went south this weekend. So I will hop to it next week! It's also tricky as we are currently redoing our kitchen and have removed the old one whilst doing some building work, so I am having to live off ready meals and the mercy of my family to cook for us, which means I can't quite control what I eat as I normally would. But maybe I need to not worry quite so much, I've plenty of time to get in shape!

So in summary - three months after surgery I am feeling great, both physically and mentally - need to lost the excess weight and regain my fitness to get back to 100% but it's all a work in progress.

Here's a look at my x-rays at 12 weeks:

Week 10 - Vive la France sur pied!

Today I am 11 weeks post op and man do I feel good!! I would say since around week 8 I started feeling better and then weeks 9 and 10 just got more and more normal and happier!

For the last two weeks I have been on holiday (yes a holiday!!) - we went to the South of France which was absolutely stunning and just amazing. The weather was around 35degrees pretty much the whole time we were there, until the last day when a storm came over as we were packing up to leave - it was pure bliss!!

I was worried a few weeks ago about how the holiday would go, I was going with my sister who is heavily pregnant and my young nephew, so the prospect of me slowly hobbling round the airport whilst carrying luggage and helping out a pregnant lady and child and his carseat was slightly concerning!! However the week or two beforehand my feet had started feeling more mobile and I could manage longer and longer on them so it ended up being completely fine. I just made sure I wore my Skechers for the travel and the feet weren't sore at all and barely swelled.

During the time we were there I largely wore sandals. I have a pair of croc flip-flops which cover a lot of the top of my foot, so I'm not required to use my toes in order to walk in them. I have heard rumours that flip flops aren't great for bunions, however I made sure I didn't wear them unless I really felt I needed to. If there was any serious walking happening then I used the Skechers.

Happy Feet in the sunshine!

The one mistake I did make was pushing myself a little further than I really was ready for. We were with some friends and one asked if I fancied going on a walk one day for about 5 miles - I love walking and my feet were feeling almost normal so I jumped at the chance - "yay back to walking finally" I thought - the walk was great and I felt euphoric after climbing a high hill, reaching the town at the top and enjoying a couple of vins blanc at the bar. 

The next day, I paid for it....

My big toes were so sore a few days afterwards. I definitely realise that I pushed myself too far and wasn't ready to walk this far. I was also making sure during the walk that I walked correctly, putting pressure on my big toes instead of rocking to the sides of my feet, and so it's likely the continued repetition aggravated the joints. In addition I had shin splints for a few days after - all in all just signs that I still need to take my return to fitness slowly where possible.

All in all it was amazing and I really don't feel like I had surgery less than 12 weeks ago still! I am now able to wear more and more of my old shoes as my feet now fit, but have a little swelling if I rush around on them.

Next week I have my 12 week appointment with the surgeon to check all is progressing smoothly before being discharged. I have a few questions to ask, one about the possible build up of some scar tissue in my left big toe, as the joint is much more swollen still and tender, and seems to be the main part that hurts if I am on my feet for too long - but other than that seem to be doing so much better!

Week 8 - Plodding onwards

This week (week 7 - 8) I have felt the best I have felt in the last couple of months. I feel my energy is coming back, walking is getting much less painful, my toes are loosening up and my general sense of happiness and normal life feels as though it is returning.

The downsides are mainly that there is still swelling in my feet, so I am unable to wear any decent pretty shoes, as much as I love my Skechers for their comfort it is summer and it would be great to wear some pretty pumps or sandals - not fussed about heels right now but something girly would be nice at least. I've also noticed really weirdly that my feet have become super hairy in the past few weeks (sorry if that gives a gross mental picture), it might just be coincidence but there's certainly a change since before the op.

The other downside is that I am feeling the weight gain from the past two months. It's to be expected I'm sure - I haven't moved properly for two months and have been comfort eating to some extent, or boredom eating more likely, but I can feel it and see it on me.

On Monday night I plucked up the courage to go the gym!! Was feeling a bit bleugh so thought I would give it a go - I could always leave if it felt too much but I wasn't going to chicken out... and I LOVED IT!!!! I managed to spend some time on the cross trainer and the elliptical, before moving on to the rowing machine and then weights.

A few tips from my session:

• Make sure your feet are well planted in the cross trainer towards the back, this allows you to push into your heels if you need to suddenly stop the pressure on your toes
• Don't go too fast, I tried some sprints but then realised if I lose control it could be bad - be safe
• I overdid it and ended up feeling very nauseous, take it easy if you haven't exercised for a while
• On the rowing machine, I assumed it would be using just my arms, but actually you need to bend  your toes and push off - be gently when doing this

We then did a swim as we were at the sports centre so it was a good spurt of exercise - I really did love it - exercise rocks! I had found the week before I went swimming and struggled to push off from the wall. This week it was so much easier, a marked improvement. I'd highly recommend swimming as you can move your toes against the resistance of the water and is a great but comfortable exercise. You can also practice standing on your toes with your weight being reduced.

The best improvement I have seen this week is the strength in my toes and range of motion. My exercises really are paying off (although am becoming a little less rigid in my regime than I should be). I have been focusing on getting on my toes and look.......

I CAN DO IT!!

Seriously chuffed about this!

I still have a bit of a limp when I walk, and each time the tightness seems to be in alternate feet. 

I do have something which is concerning me a little - last week I tried going up on my toes and afterwards I felt a sore stinging/burning pain in the top of my toe/foot. I still get this intermittently - more as a sort of discomfort as opposed to pain, but definitely noticeable. When my feet are hot and tired I notice this little bump appears: 

It feels springy, just like a vein would but it's just strange and tender - will see how this goes and ask my consultant about this next time if it's still bothering me. 

Week 7 - Taking it step by step

One of the pieces of information I looked for but struggled to find online was what to expect when you walk properly for the first time (i.e getting out of the heel ortho-shoes) - so even though I'm still relatively new to this stepping malarkey - thought I'd put together a list of things to be aware of:

1. First few steps felt as though the ground was rotating infront of me, so felt like I was going to fall over. Had to cling to my husband a bit walking out of the hospital. 
2. The doctor told me I HAVE to learn to walk using my big toe - this is hard given that I'm now used to putting all my weight through my heels. It's also even harder by the fact it hurts a fair bit to put pressure on and if you haven't loosened up the joint it's even worse. 
3. Tip: do your range of motion exercises in the morning before getting up to walk and keep going with them as much as possible as it makes walking easier. 
4. The same above can be said for attempting to walk up and down stairs. 
5. Take the stairs very slowly - they're harder than I was expecting
6. Get a good pair of supportive loose trainers. I have been really pleased with my Skechers GoSteps, they have no seams so are very comfy over my scars and getting them on and off is easy. 
7. For the first few days I found walking barefoot really painful so I wore my trainers as much as possible. 
8. Don't do too much!! I felt a bit too confident on Friday after being able to walk but by mid afternoon I was exhausted and my feet throbbed. Listen to your body and take it easy still. 

This is just an introductory list and by no means expertly written - just a few experiences from my first few days sans boots

The weekend that has just passed has been filled with euphoric, though to some would seem trivial, moments!

I managed to get some housework done on Friday - by myself. Getting round the house on my new toes was painful and uncomfortable, but the freedom to do so just made me so much happier! I went for my first drive in six weeks, just to the local shop which is less than 10 minutes away, but was so liberating. The looks I was getting from people were interesting as I stumbled around on my feet as if I was drunk, but it didn't really bother me.

On Saturday the weather was nice so a friend and I went to a nearby lake, sat on the grass and had tea and cake. I put some music on my phone and just took it all in and got quite emotional - I just loved having my freedom back! I stuck my toes up towards the sky and thought they looked fab!

We then went swimming and again this was just the most brilliant experience. This was the first activity I'd done in nearly seven weeks that involved using all my muscles - I swam down to the bottom of the pool (it's quite a deep pool) and loved it. I then did some pretty full on lengths to get my heart rate going - really can't wait to get back to some proper fitness.

I am now on day four of walking, and it's already getting easier and less painful. I'm finding the stairs are the hardest part, however if I do my range of motion exercises before I walk this seems to make it much easier. Today I've managed to do the stairs without clinging on to the banister. I also am less wobbly when I get up so am seeing improvements.

My main goal is to get up onto my tiptoes which I'm too afraid to try at the moment and is probably quite painful - but am working towards this.

One of the exercises I now have to work on is the "towel scrunch" - this means laying a towel on the floor under my char and scrunching it towards myself with my feet - easier said than done! It's tricky and my toes feel quite stiff and sore doing it, however once you get the hang you can feel it is doing a lot to increase the range of motion further.

Week-by-week summary

I have put together a simple week by week summary, to avoid anyone having to slog through every detail (although would be lovely if you wanted to!) - this is very much a work in progress so I will update it as the weeks go and keep it as a featured post on the gadget bar for easy access.

Weeks prior to the surgery:

Get as much prepared beforehand as possible. Do a big shop to stock up your cupboards as you won't likely be going out much at least for the first couple of weeks and the idea of a supermarket filled me with dread, so I did about a months worth of shopping beforehand and froze anything perishable so it would last.

Get some key items such as: 

Shower stool
Very comfy clothes with wide leg holes
Tray table (for eating meals in bed/on the sofa)
Wheelchair if available (a self-propelled one will give you much more freedom)
Lots of cushions
E45 cream (to use when bandages come off)
Socks with lots of room in toe area for when bandages come off (walking socks gave good support)

Also good to set up your base ready for when you come back from hospital - you will spend all of the first two-three weeks here and likely up to 6 weeks. I initially set up a base on the sofa with a mattress topper for extra comfort (and to protect the sofa from going limp) and then had a duvet on and lots of pillows/cushions. I spent the first four nights on the sofa before getting upstairs to sleep.

Make sure you have done plenty of research so you know what to expect but try not to let anything put you off - remember everyone has a completely unique experience and recovery and so what you experience won't necessarily be the same as someone else. Stay positive and try not to let the nerves get to you - it will all be worth it!

Lastly, make sure you have a plan for who will be helping you - who will bring you home from the hospital, who will bring you your meals and help you out. For the first week you will ideally need someone on hand 24/7. Then once you are steadier on your feet you will need them less and less, but for 6 weeks at least you will need someone to drive you anywhere and someone to carry things if you need - the more support you have the happier and smoother those immobile weeks will be.

Week 1: Post Op

This week for me personally was really hard - much harder than I expected it to be. I was emotional and ended up in tears on most days. The pain mixed with immobility was a real shock to my system and I am also a very anxious person and found every little pain, particularly when trying to heel walk, made me worry I was doing something to ruin my recovery.

Tip: you will feel all sorts of sensations during the first few weeks. Pain comes in different formats and sometimes it was a deep throb, or a stinging, or a dull ache. Sometimes it was a stinging sensation on the skin or even at one point feeling like a needle was sticking into the side of toe. As far as I know all of this is normal and providing the overall level of pain is gradually decreasing then it should be fine - always contact your doctor/hospital if you are at all worried!

Heel walking was very hard in the first week - for me it felt as though every time I stood up something was going to crunch, it was a really uncomfortable straining feeling in my foot, coupled with getting used to putting pressure on your heels only it is difficult but you do get used to it and it gets easier every day. Take it slowly - don't rush anything.

I kept my feet up 24/7 for the first week solidly (minus toilet trips), as high as possible and I didn't remove my heel boots even at night.

I took painkillers routinely until about day 6 and then pretty much only took them when needed. Stopped taking painkillers at night after about day 4.

For showering, I used the shower stool in the bath and used the hose to wash the top half of me. I dangled my legs over the side of the bath, elevating them on a stool. I had my husband to help me with this during the first week.

I also had ZERO mental capacity during the first week or so - I couldn't concentrate on anything for longer than 5 minutes - so don't get frustrated if you can't watch an entire film or take up a new activity or get into a novel - I was spaced out on medication and tired from the healing so it was hard to do anything mentally.

Had to take Clexane injections in the stomach for the first two weeks at the same time every day. I got my husband to administer these as I just didn't fancy it - although I'm sure I would've got used to it. To be honest I think he quite liked being involved and having a role so I was more than happy to leave that to him.


Week 2:

My feet started to relax a bit during the week and I relaxed along with it, much less anxious. I did have a moment where I jumped up by accident, forgetting about my bad feet (but I had my heel walkers on) - this set me back and caused a bit of pain and anxiety so do remember to take it easy even if you are feeling things are improving.

I continued to stay on the sofa all day but made it upstairs at night. My husband went back to work during week two so I became a little more independent - learned to shower without his help using the shower stool so he didn't have to worry too much about helping me in the morning. Every day he would set me up with breakfast next to the sofa and tea ready for when I made it downstairs as carrying things was too tricky when using two crutches, and I wasn't steady enough to get by with one crutch just yet.

Continued with injections and had to have a platelet level check at the GP surgery at the end of the two weeks.


Week 3: 

Managed to move around a little more and slowly started to use one crutch so I could make a cup of tea and bring it back to the sofa.

I went to stay at my sisters for a couple of days as my husband was working away and she has a 3 year old son who is fantastic but it made me realise just how tiring this whole procedure is on the whole body - not just the feet. I struggled to be around anybody for too long as it just made me tired.

Mobility was improving slightly and I could manage with just one crutch. Still had the bandages on so couldn't get my feet wet which was hard as we had blistering heat during week 3.

Boredom really took it's toll during this week and I was constantly sore and stiff all over from lack of movement. Even though I could do a couple of limited pilates exercises what I really wanted to do was run around and get my heart rate up.

I still elevated my feet pretty much all day but was able to walk a little more to make myself meals and generally be a bit less of a burden round the house.

During this week I pretty much completely weaned off painkillers but took the occasional ones as and when I required them, sometimes at night to help me sleep. I worried a little about addiction so was trying to take them as little as possible. I also found they made me feel very depressed which really didn't help my already down mood.

Week 4: 

At the end of week 3/beginning of week 4 I had my bandages removed. I was really excited about this and seeing my feet for the first time, but whilst it was lovely to see my feet, I actually felt it was a bit of a step backwards in my general feeling and progress. I suddenly found it really hard to walk again without the protection of the bandages and so this dragged my mood down a lot, just when I was starting to feel a bit more human.

I also started doing my range of motion exercises. These were EXCRUCIATING for the first day or so, and to begin with just made me cry with how painful it was - however my doctor had said if it isn't painful, then I'm not doing it right, so I really pushed myself through this to get my toes as far back as they will go. I was surprised at how stiff the joints were.

There is also a huge amount of skin that stays under your bandages for three weeks - my feet looked like lizard feet and every day a load of scales would appear and dead skin needed to be removed. I used a lot of E45 cream to help with this.

Week 5 and Week 6: 

Main issues to deal with are continued boredom and feeling rubbish, getting frustrated and noticing muscle loss. However, mobility is somewhat improved and can sometimes get by without crutches at all, although this feels like it puts more strain on the feet so I used the crutches as much as possible, and always when leaving the house!

I continued to do my range of motion exercises four times a day, or more. Generally I just did them whenever I wasn't eating, drinking, going to the toilet or standing up. Just pushing them back and forth as often as possible.

Week 7:

This was the first week of walking properly. To begin with this was really strange and my toes were really stiff and sore. The first few times I tried walking barefoot I felt the floor was rotating infront of me so I was a bit wobbly. I was able to drive, but could only manage about 10 minutes or so. Walking was very slow, and I would know if I had done too much on my feet.

The hardest challenge of week 7 was learning to go up and down the stairs. I had completely forgotten how normal people use stairs and so could only manage it clinging to the bannister or contorting my body and doing it one step at a time. Going downstairs was particularly tricky and I would often yelp at the odd step if I tried it too quickly.

Week 8

This week I felt the best improvement, feet are starting to become less stiff and sore and I can manage more and more time on my feet without a limp. I returned to work in the office this week, although feet would occasionally go purple if allowed to dangle for too long. I managed to get to the gym and swimming is easier, able to push away from the swimming pool wall with my toes.

A big success from this week is being able to go up onto my tiptoes. I practise this every day and also practise walking like a gymnast/ballet dancer, pointing my toes and planting my big toe on the floor, then pressing the ball of my foot down and following the step through. This practises walking using my big toe and also flexing the toes.

To be continued...

Day 42 - Six Weeks - Look who's walking!

I genuinely never thought this day would come - I can WALK!! I am so unbelievably happy! I said to my husband in the car on the way home from the hospital that I honestly feel like the old me has stepped back into my body (pun intended)

The consultant was really pleased with my progress and also my range of motion in the joint, a testament to the hours and hours of exercises I was doing on my toes and shows that the initial pain of it really is worth it. I had found after a few days that I rally had to push my toes to the limit in order to feel pain so tips for those just starting on the exercises to really push through the pain in those first few days as it is so worth it!!

Was a bit of a giggle as when I went to the hospital I was immediately taken round to get X-rays done. I walked into the room and the radiographer asked me to remove my heel boots and then walk over to the X-ray pad (whatever it's called) - I was like "err.. I haven't walked for six weeks and you're expecting me to just hop over to you are you?" (Slightly more politely than that obviously) - it was so strange, I felt as though the floor was rotating under me, not easy to begin with!!

I then went round to the consultants room and he was so enthusiastic about my recovery so far, said my feet looked good and that I can walk/drive/cartwheel/dance/climb a mountain if I feel comfortable!! He did grab my toes and wiggle them a lot to check the range of motion which I was expecting to hurt but was just uncomfortable more than anything. I was so happy - this is the moment I'd been waiting for for all those six miserable weeks!

My X-rays:

My left foot

Right foot

I think it's really cool to see the hardware in my feet.

I was told I can wear any shoes that are comfortable for me, however one piece of advice I would give from the 19 hours since my appointment, is to wear something supportive. I find barefoot really quite uncomfortable/painful so am keeping my Skechers trainers on most of the time for now.

Feet on the ground

Have to remember to walk how a normal person walks and not stay on my heels as I have done for the past six weeks - this is tricky but again needs to be done to get back to normal ASAP.

The only thing I have really struggled with since walking is the stairs - these are not my friend at the moment. I just can't remember how a normal person walks up and down the stairs and it's mega painful if I try it too quickly - I need to work on this.

I'm so cheery and upbeat - just feel so different to how I've felt for the last six weeks.

I have found the last six weeks to be incredibly difficult. I have been in some pain, but harder than that I think is the debilitating effect of immobility - this really played havoc on me mentally and emotionally and I was not prepared for it. I found my muscles atrophied a lot and I've put on weight, although this wasn't something I particularly worried about during my recovery as I found that boredom just leads to me eating more and I can easily fix this once I'm active again. I would urge anyone thinking of having this surgery to prepare yourself for it being difficult. Not everyone will experience what I did, some may enjoy the time off wth feet up, but just be prepared that you may not enjoy it. However the feeling is almost euphoric when you go and get told that you've recovered really well and by resting and doing what the doctor says you have improved your recovery.

Is it all worth it? Well it's too early to say 100% as I'm still experiencing some discomfort and it's still relatively early days and I'm not going to run before I can walk - what I would say is my feet look so much better than before, even with the major swelling my feet fit into shoes much more easily and I'm feeling so positive about when the swelling goes down and I can really make most of them.

The consultant asked me how I found having both done together and would I do it that way in hindsight - my answer was absolutely! I think if I had done one at a time, I'm not really sure I'd have been able to go back and have the second done - although given how happy I am now maybe I would have - people generally forget pain don't they, that's why some people go back and have more children as they forget how bad childbirth is. It's definitely been harder having both done, but I can now say it's over with and can look forward to my recovery fully coming to an end soon and not worrying about doing this all again. If you do both together it's so important to have a good network surrounding you.

So that's the end of that chapter of my recovery and on to the next part which is learning to walk again and taking it easy - I need to remember this. Walking is uncomfortable and so I need to make sure I don't rush things!

Day 41 - Is today the day??

I have my six week appointment with the consultant TODAY!!! I am keeping everything I can crossed that the x-rays will be ok and I will be allowed to walk (what's that I hear you say?)....yes...WALK out of the hospital! With my feet in actual shoes and everything.

I'm a bit nervous they might find a problem and I'll have to stay in my heel shoes for a bit longer - but just have to stay positive and look forward. I also really hope I don't have a meltdown and almost pass out again like last time!

I'm off on holiday in a few weeks time, and decided I need to get hold of a good pair of sandals to wear as trainers might be a bit limiting in the heat. I have searched far and wide for the right pair as they need to fit the following criteria:

Supportive
Have a backstrap
Not a thin strap over toes because of swelling
Not a flat/thin sole

This is harder than you might think - anyway earlier this week I found the PERFECT pair. They were brilliant - the were flip flop style so wouldn't restrict my toes, but had a chunky backstrap and another strap to support the top of the foot, and a padded sole. Not only that, they were white which everyone who knows me knows I love white shoes!

Here are the lovelies in question:

So they arrived yesterday and I thought I would try them out - they looked fab and I was so happy to get a pair that would fit my ever so slightly puffy feet in - HA! how wrong I was!! My feet aren't just a little puffy as I thought - my feet are HUGE! I couldn't get my foot past the brown strap, I managed to cram them in which then hurt my scar so panicked and thought they might have to be cut off me. I will keep these shoes as they are just beautiful but I think I was kidding myself when I thought I was immune to bad swelling and that normal shoes would be no problem!

I then gathered up some of my old pairs of shoes which had stretched out a bit. Some of these fit, but all were snug.

This afternoon I am off to the hospital to get my feet x-rayed and see the consultant, so I have my trainers ready to go. These are the beauties I am taking:

These are the most comfortable shoe I have tried on by far and has a lovely soft toe box so doesn't restrict my toes.

Keeping everything crossed I will be walking in these today!

Whilst reflecting on the last six weeks I have made a list of all the things I miss that I'm looking forward to when life returns to normal!

Exercise
Doing things with speed
Being busy
Wearing nice clothes and shoes
Walking
Dancing
Driving
Freedom
Not worrying so much about what I eat
Standing up straight, normal walking
Strength
Going to restaurants/pubs

Day 36 - Getting out of the house!

I find I am learning so many lessons as part of this recovery process. Today I have learned that the world really isn't geared up for disabled people...

I am coming up to my six week appointment to see how my recovery has gone and determine if I will be allowed to walk. For this I need to go prepared with a good pair of shoes to start walking in that need to be wide enough to fit my big fat toes in and supportive to encourage good walking and foot health, so a new pair of shoes is in order. 

We went to a shopping outlet today which also happens to have a mobility centre where you can hire mobility scooters and wheelchairs. Perfect I thought! However, when we got there we went to the mobility centre which is right by the disabled area of the carpark, but there was noone there and it was locked. There were some other people waiting outside too wondering where they were so my sister found the phone number for them and they said to go to the information centre as this is now where the mobility aids were being given out. This was right in the centre of the shopping outlet!!!!! Therefore, I had to hobble on my crutches right through the shopping centre to get the scooter, and then also had to hobble back with various carrier bags at the end of the day - not only did this take ages as I am extremely slow on my crutches, but was also exhausting and a real struggle. Luckily, I am able to hobble, even if it takes a while, but some people aren't, and whilst you'd expect they would have someone who might be able to go and pick one up for them, some people can't be left on their own and it's also just downright inconvenient - this was the first problem I encountered. 

Secondly - shops do not lay themselves out to make it easy or helpful for people using wheelchairs. They put clothes racks far too closely together so you have to squeeze through them potentially taking some of the clothes with you. A number of times during the day I bumped into displays and got my wheels caught. One shop which I won't name and shame I went into and immediately reversed as I thought there is no way I can get around this place without damaging something or someone. 

In addition to the narrowness of clothes racks, they also put some racks up REALLY HIGH!! I went into one shop and couldn't reach anything on the top rack and so just stared as it feeling a bit crap. Thankfully the customer service in this particular store was great and someone hopped over to me speedily to help - but you don't get this in all stores and if it hadn't been for the nice shop assistant I would have been really stuck!

On top of the problems getting around the shops, there's also the looks you get from people all day long when using a mobility aid. These are threefold; there's the avoiding eye contact look, where people will do anything to make sure you don't think they're staring at you. Then there's the sympathetic smile you get (ok thanks I'm still a human, I'm not dying, I just can't walk at the moment), and the best one is the "what's wrong with you" face! This is my favourite as people will blatantly look at you, a young, normal sized person, and look you up and down until they see the source of your ailment to ensure you justly require the use of the mobility aid. Obviously I am wearing two surgical boots so this is (hopefully) evidence that I have limited foot usage, but some people won't have these - suggestion to anyone coming in contact with a mobility aid user - don't judge them, don't care about why they are using the aid, or whether they really need it, it's not impacting you in any way so forget about it. 

The looks I experienced throughout the day made me feel a bit crappy and small during the visit, and I thought to myself that this is just temporary, I can handle this because I know that very soon I won't need to use the scooter, and I will have nice comfy feet - but some people are stuck with this forever for other reasons, and these looks are really not on! I think these lessons have humbled me a lot and I'm grateful to have had a small insight, it's certainly changed the way I look at things. 

So anyway, rant over, back to the outcome of my shopping trip - I went into Skechers as a lot of people who have had the surgery suggest that they are good and supportive. I found several pairs I liked but was really shocked at how uncomfortable it was to try to get my feet into them. I needed to do some of my toe exercises to loosen them up so they would bend into the shoe, but the swelling is still so severe there were some shoes I really just couldn't get my feet into. I got a bit teary when I did manage to find a good pair as it suddenly hit me that these are my new feet, and once the swelling goes down, should hopefully actually fit into new shoes, whereas I always used to have a very sore bunion for the shoes to stretch round. 

So excited now to get out of these heel walkers and into my new trainers, getting so close now! 

Day 33 - Happiness is a Self-Propelled Wheelchair

I'm afraid John Lennon and Paul McCartney got it a little bit wrong - happiness is not a warm gun, it is in fact a self-propelled wheelchair!

After two miserable days of intense boredom and feeling rubbish I begged my sister to take me out today. There's a garden centre about 10 minutes drive away from us which has a nice cafe to get lunch and a good play area for my nephew - it also has wheelchairs and motorised scooters that you can borrow so the perfect place for taking out little old disabled me!

When we arrived my sister went off to get the wheelchair and came back with a self-propelled on so I could push myself round. This was AMAZING! Sounds so arbitrary but it made such a difference to be able to move around at a decent pace and look at what I wanted, not to be at the mercy of anyone else. It was really easy to get the hang of too in terms of steering. I now wish I'd rented one of these early on as it would have given me a few more options for getting out of the house. This lifted my spirits immensely so I'm hoping we'll go back soon so I can have another opportunity. I also let my nephew sit on my lap for a while (he's only three so still small enough) and he loved it. I also loved using my arms to get around, there were a couple of uphill ramps which actually got my heart rate up - it was great!!

Check out my wheels! 

I found the below picture online a few days ago which I thought summed up the recovery process so well. I am definitely one who expected to just have a few tricky days of pain, followed by five weeks or so of glorious sitting around doing whatever I want, watching lots of TV etc. This couldn't have been further from my expectation - so many ups and downs! Today I'm feeling more up which is good but the picture is definitely a good representation:

My toes are still getting more flexible. I'm slightly concerned I'm being a little too rough with the joints, but the surgeon did say to cause pain and so here's hoping his word works and that I'm not damaging myself by flexing them too much - I definitely don't want to end up with stiff toes however!!

Tomorrow is the one week countdown to my appointment with the consultant. Keeping everything crossed that those x-rays will be ok, I am holding out every hope that it will be the day I am finally allowed to walk with shoes and everything!!!

Day 30 - Lizard Feet

I wonder if in the future I will look back on 2016 and think to myself "Remember that time when you spent the entire month of July on the sofa?!" 

This is what has come to pass - it is the last day of July and I have officially spent the entire last 31 days on my sofa, or in my bed, or for a tiny amount of time in a wheelchair. For someone who usually spends so much time up and out and about, I do feel that I have missed out on so much, but I also am thinking ahead now to the possibilities of the future where I might be able to walk without pain and have much longer term health for my feet.

A couple of days ago, someone on a Facebook group asked about how people had personally felt during their bunion surgery recovery. This got me thinking, and has confirmed for me that I have definitely experienced some form of depression during my recovery. Probably all normal given the responses of many who said they felt the same, but this was a side affect I really hadn't expected. I am now over four weeks post op and I still have some really bad days, yesterday wasn't great, but the bad days are becoming fewer and farther between which is a good sign. The days that have been good are the days where people have shown a little extra love and done something nice, for example my in-laws took me out on Friday for a cup of tea at a cafe by a lake not far from where I live, and my parents had us over for some food last night and we sat in the garden which was nice. I highly recommend for anyone feeling down after their surgery to take up people's offers to do anything that isn't sitting around, it really can keep you sane but it is also highly important to listen to your body, how do you feel, are you feeling up to going out and potentially not having your feet elevated for a little while, are you able to get about in a wheelchair wherever you go. If you plan ahead then it is possible to go on short outings, though not in the first two weeks!

Today has been possibly the best day so far which is where I am starting to see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Early this morning I was taken out for breakfast with my family, it was great to get up and get out and after we'd eaten we decided to visit the garden centre near the cafe, they had wheelchairs available so I could be taken round (so glamorous) and again we sat and had a cup of tea there in the sunshine. We then came home and for the first time in a month I felt like sitting outside - I've been far too hot and bothered and miserable up until now. My husband managed to get hold of a comfortable lounger I could sit on with some pillows under my feet. I kept socks on to protect the incision sites. I didn't stay outside for long but it did make a difference to feel the sun on my face. I now feel I'm on the countdown to being able to walk again - only 11 days until my appointment with the consultant and I am keeping everything I can crossed that they will allow me to walk out of the hospital!

I am working really hard with my Range of Motion (ROM) exercises. These have been so painful, however every time I grin and bear it the pain gets less intense. I am really trying to do whatever I can to make sure I have as much motion in my joints going forward. I have been doing these exercises now for 6 days and I already have seen a marked improvement. I can bend my toes further and can now wriggle the big toe on my left foot up and down independently.

The top two photos are my feet taken on Thursday after three days of exercises. The bottom two are taken today on Sunday after six days - there's already a noticeable difference.

You can see in the video my toes are shaking where I am trying so hard to move them - this is how tough it is to do, a movement anyone else would likely take for granted! It's also worth noting that this was taken after several repetitions of my exercises, so this is at their most flexible. After resting a few hours, the toes become stiffer again.

I'm pleased with the movement so far on my left foot (in the video). I think that due to the extension/cutting of the tendon on my right foot, the big toe does not currently move by itself. I'm hopeful this will improve over time, but will need to ask my consultant about this if there's no improvement by my appointment. The knuckle part of my right big toe is also numb today so I'm hoping that's also not permanent.

One yucky side affect of this process is that since my bandages have been removed, my feet have turned into that of a lizard!! Every inch of skin has gone dry and scaly and started peeling away. My husband has bought me a large tub of E45 cream which has helped a little, but a lot of time seems to spent getting rid of dead skin. The skin underneath is lovely and soft but the dead skin just seems to go on and on. Another aspect I am looking forward to moving beyond!!

Day 27 - Stiff toes

So it turns out that when you have your bones broken and realigned, they don't bend so well afterwards!

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting, but I somehow didn't realise that after this surgery I would barely be able to move my toes. After Monday's little episode at the hospital, I thought I would start on my toe flexion and extension exercises. To perform these you have to hold your foot firmly over the main boney part (where the bones were realigned) and then bending the toe down and upwards from the joint at the base of the toe. Due to my hyper mobility, I have always been really flexible in this area, being able to bend my toes virtually under my feet. I always used to pretend I was a ballet dancer (with the exception of the terrible balance due to awful bunions!)

These exercises are sooo painful. On Tuesday I could not perform these without crying. I don't know how to describe the pain but it shot right up through my body each time, particularly when pulling upwards, down wasn't so bad. I could hardly move the toes at all and was also getting upset as I couldn't see how I'd ever be able to move my toes in the same way again. This would mean not being able to wear heels, not dancing and finding walking/running painful.

I might've been slightly premature in panicking however as it is now Thursday and the mobility has already improved - can't say I'm Darcey Bussell yet, but I can definitely move them a little further and so am sure that if I keep up the routine every day for a few weeks that this will get better and better.

The exercise programme has me doing 3x sets of 5 repetitions down and then up on each foot, 4 times a day. This takes a while, but I know it's important to do right. My surgeon informed me that if it isn't painful, I'm not doing it right. So whilst I would usually be worrying about the pain that I'm damaging something, I know I have to grin and bear it if I want to regain the motion again.

I often worry that there's not enough "light" to this blog, that most of it is me moaning or saying how hard it is or down I am - however I wanted it to be a completely honest account of how I have felt, and I don't think that sugar coating anything is going to benefit anyone considering surgery or going through recovery. I loved reading others' blogs before and during my recovery, however I longed for more detail about the day to day stuff and feelings that people experienced, as I spent so much of those first few weeks worrying about every little thing, and everyone else I read about seemed to have such a smooth and easy recovery. I think if I'd gone into this expecting it to be really hard, it might have been less of a shock to me and I'd have coped better.

To add to the above, I would also say that yes it has been really hard, but all of that pales into insignificance if this whole thing ends up being worth it. Now at this point I can't say for definite if it has been worth it, I'm currently just shy of four weeks post op and I know that I won't experience the results until later down the line, at least when I am walking and potentially wearing new shoes. However, what I do know is that my new feet look fantastic, I no longer have that awful boney bump on the side of my foot, instead it's a lovely straight shape and I'm sure that it will be so much more comfortable in shoes. I also have a nice big toe that is flatter on my right foot and the nail already looks to be improving, it used to be very swollen from rubbing just below the nail, however I can certainly see a reduction in the swelling, excluding the fact it's swollen already from the surgery. All in all this looks to be a great positive start and so providing I can get my toes to bend and I don't end up with any nerve problems or lasting pain, then I know that all of this will have been worth it.

Thought I would round this post up with some photos of my toes being bent so I can compare in a few weeks of exercises. These were taken at the end of a round of exercises so had limbered up a little by this point:

This is my left foot before being flexed

My left foot with the toe being pulled up - this toe stretches further than the right one

Bending my right big toe, this one is stiffer than the left

Bending the toe down on the right foot, this is significantly less painful than pulling the toe up

Important to note that usually for doing these exercises my other hand is holding the foot firmly, however I needed this hand to take the photos.

Day 24 - Three week wound check (first view of feet!)

This afternoon I had my three week wound check, which also meant it was the first unveiling of my feet ☺️! Since the op my feet have been in the inch-thick bandages and I've not been able to remove these or get them wet - so I was really really excited about today's appointment and seeing the work my surgeon had done. I was also a little nervous as I've seen so many pictures of be-stitched feet on the internet and wasn't sure how well I would cope with the potential bloody wound.

First things first - the exciting bit - MY FEET! I'm so happy to see the transformation in the shape of my foot, especially my left foot. The left one was the one that looked the worst and had the most pronounced bunion, it also caused me the most grief in that area. The right foot had a much milder bunion but the big toe was permanently bent like it was flexing, so the change was more minimal in looking at it, but fingers crossed the real difference will be when I can finally walk.

Here is my before and after picture of my left foot: 

It looks more pronounced in socks!!

Here are both of my feet - sorry for the picture of the yucky looking nail, but you can see that the bottom looks like it is starting to grow back a little which is a positive sign so fingers crossed! 

So the unveiling was interesting. I was really nervous in the car on the way. I had read in places that it was potentially quite a painful experience having the bandages removed so I took some co-codamol about 15 minutes before arriving - BIG MISTAKE! I wouldn't say that you shouldn't take any painkillers at all, but really avoid anything that could lower your blood pressure or make you feel drowsy! I think it was the anticipation, or the nerves, but after he unveiled the first foot, I suddenly went really dizzy and felt like I was going to be sick any second. The nurse lay me back and got me some water and I just lay there for a few minutes until I thought I could cope with more unveiling. The nurse unveiled the second one and then round two happened, back to lying down, more water, another nurse came in to help (yay me!) - what was wrong with me? I never thought of myself as someone who struggled with medical stuff, I give blood regularly with no problems and I work in health so am surrounded by medical talk frequently - I just really struggled with this.

The next part of the appointment was to go through my range of motion exercises - this involved holding my foot and bending the big toe up and down several times. I was told to take the toe just past the point of pain and back. Oh my gosh this exercise is SO PAINFUL. I have to do this four times a day and I keep having to psych myself up to do it - not fun! However it's really important in order to restore flexibility in the joint and I love to dance and move around so this is important to me to work on!

Had a few more episodes of feeling dizzy during and after the motion exercises so they ended up wheeling me out just so I didn't pass out while standing. The nurse was fantastic and so understanding, I however felt like an idiot!

Since the appointment I unfortunately feel like I've taken a big step backwards in my mobility. It's now really difficult to walk in my boots, which I have to do for another three weeks, and is painful because of the pressure which has increased now there isn't lots of cushioning around them. So I'm back to using two crutches, going really slowly and not being able to carry things. I've also still not felt too good since the appointment, I keep feeling nauseous and have been quite down. I think I just got so overwhelmed which I wasn't expecting.

Another thing that has changed as a result of the appointment, I can now get my feet wet! I can't stand in the shower yet so will need to carry on using the stool, but it will be so nice to finally wash those feet, it's been such a long time.

All in all, whilst today wasn't quite as "Up" as I was expecting, it was great to get to the midway point and to finally see my feet. I now can't wait for the six week appointment and am looking forward to buying some good supportive trainers in the hope that when I walk out of the hospital, they will be on my feet and I can say goodbye to the sexy space shoes!!

Day 21 - Half way booties!

I'm chuffed that today is the end of my third week post osteotomy, and therefore half way to hopefully getting these boots off! In the past week I've seen the biggest improvement and am feeling a little better in myself. I'm still mega frustrated, and mentally I have a way to go, but can feel improvements and am getting more capable of doing things for myself so my general mood is lifting.

This week we've had the weather that should happen in July - it's been so hot, around 33 degrees C on Tuesday. Most people would love this, especially when off work, however for me, this was the last thing I wanted. My feet are so hot and they swell more in the heat which makes them throb more. I was staying at my sisters for a few days as my husband was away with work and I ended up having to hide in her spare room most of the day as everywhere else was far too hot.

The only upside was that after two weeks I was allowed to remove the heel-wedge boot when I'm not walking so used the opportunity of a double bed without my husband to try sleeping without the boots. It was weird, as I felt subconsciously that I was more likely to damage something, or the risk of getting up in the night by accident, but I did manage to find a much more comfortable position without the boot on, and therefore got a better night's sleep. I've been sleeping since then without the boots on and am feeling much better as a result. It also helps in the heat to be able to take the boot off as they are similar to walking boots in terms of the weight.

My mobility has improved greatly, I can now hobble without my crutches, meaning I can carry light things such as a cup of tea - although it's not ideal to walk without crutches but it does make me feel better to be less dependent on others ALL the time.

I have put on weight in the last three weeks, I'm not sure how much as I haven't worked out how to get on the scale without my space boots, but I feel much fuller and it doesn't help that my muscles are majorly atrophying at the same time. I am dying to get out and have a mad burst of energy and to feel my heart pumped for once, I never thought I would miss exercising this much!! Next week I think I'm going to have to do a bit of a diet to decrease my calorie intake - I'm not expecting to lose a lot due to lack of exercise, but I think I need to cut back otherwise nothing will fit me by the time I can walk again!

I'm looking forward now to Monday when I will get the bandages removed - I don't know what they will be putting in place of the bandage but I believe I will then also be allowed to get my foot wet which means I can FINALLY wash my feet 😊😊😊, the thought of this makes me very happy! I'll also be starting my physio exercises on Monday, which involved bending my toes up and down until they hurt - not looking forward to this as I hear it's really painful, but I am excited about the prospect of seeing my feet, seeing the damage from the incisions (hope they're not too bad) and being able to move my toes! All steps to getting back to normal!

Day 17 - Heatwave

I just had to do a count of the days since my operation and yippee it's 17! Time is definitely not flying by - however, as each and every day passes I am getting a little bit better and things are becoming a bit easier. I still have a looong way to do - 24 days till my 6 week checkup and potentially being able to put my foot on the floor and I am counting down!

Today I've noticed a big improvement in my mobility, I am able to hobble around with just one crutch which means I can carry a cup of tea and am just generally more steady. Getting up isn't as uncomfortable anymore so I can be a little quicker now. However - I know I need to go careful as this is exactly the type of attitude that leads to accidents like last Monday, more info on that here. My heels are also so so sore - if I walk for more than two minutes now they ache so badly from all the pressure they get - they are doing a fab job of taking the brunt of all of this - I really wish I could give them a clean or buff them up a bit, not too long before I get these bandages off!

Something I have found as a bit of a pastime to keep me busy whilst I'm off my feet is to dream about, and look online for new shoes I can wear when I have normal feet again. I have bought several pairs of shoes now, which obviously I can't try on but it's sale season and so some of these shoes I've had my eye on for ages, I just thought it would be a good thing to look forward to. Need to watch this however as I'm getting poorer by the minute!

It is SO hot today, boiling - yes I know it's the middle of July, but so far it's been cool and misty since the op and this has been quite nice as, as you can imagine, my feet are not in prime heat-tolerating condition right now. If I can make a comparison, it is like wearing a pair of thick walking socks, and then putting your walking boots on, and then wearing them ALL THE TIME!!! I have been wearing these in bed as well, so when it's hot it is dire! The consultant said to wear the heel walker boots for two weeks constantly, and then after that just for walking around in. This is all fine now that I'm past the two week mark, it means I can take them off, however after last Monday's episode I am so terrified of walking on my feet without the boots by mistake and so figure it can't hurt to keep them on as much as possible. However it was so hot I decided to be brave and take them off this afternoon for a bit - they were literally off for about three minutes until I saw a delivery van appear outside and had to sprint to get the boots back on so I could get to the door, not a fun panic, and probably not safe - so I think this is a sign I really should just keep the boots on - I'm a very clumsy person and it's not worth taking any risks!!

Day 16 - What a difference a weekend makes

This weekend was really mixed but I feel I have come out of it much stronger! Saturday was another hard day, hubby spent the whole day doing things outside and everyone else nearby was either out or entertaining their own guests, so I was all alone and it was the first day I really felt like getting some fresh air - cabin fever had truly set in and I was feeling agitated. I again got really teary as I realised how dependent I am on other people, so spoke to hubby and we decided to go for a drive. We drove to a hill nearby (we live in the countryside) with a beautiful lookout and just looked at the view for a bit. We then went to his parents for a cup of tea and ended up having supper. Apart from finding it hard to get comfy anywhere other than my sofa, it was nice to get out of the house and a change of scenery even if just for a few hours. My mother-in-law played a card game with me for a while which was nice to take my mind off everything. Even though everything takes a very long time, having to hobble everywhere and only managing two minutes on my feet before my feet turn purple is tricky - but I strongly recommend anyone having this surgery gets out when they can once the first few weeks have passed - it will really help to keep you sane.

On Sunday we had really lovely whether so hubby drove me up to my sisters for a bbq. I managed to make it through eating an entire meal with my feet hanging down from the chair without them exploding - had to get my feet back up straight away afterwards but again little improvements are happening! It was again really nice to get out and to feel the sunshine for a little while.

On the downside I'm really sore and stiff at the moment, all of my muscles are tight and I can't seem to stretch them out to any satisfactory level. I really wish I could just put some trainers on and go running, or jump about on the squash court. I hate just sitting around, it really drags me down and anyone who knows me knows I am a busy, positive and energetic person, so I really don't feel like me at the moment. BUT whilst I'm moaning and being pessimistic, I must make it clear I am very aware that there is a HUGE reason I am doing this, that it is only temporary and for some people, things like this are permanent. So I never lose perspective and I'm trying with every day to be more and more positive and look forward to reaping the rewards of doing this.

An overview of my recovery plan

I've noticed that a lot of other bunion surgery blogs seem to have different stories of recovery times, procedures and surgeon advice, which I've found so confusing that things can be so different, so I thought it might be helpful to clarify my procedure and the advice from my surgeon.

The procedure I had was a Scarf and Akin Osteotomy. I have been partial weight bearing (on heel walker boots) since day 1 post-op, and was told to wear these continuously for two weeks, including in bed. After two weeks, I just have to wear them for walking. As I have had both feet operated on and so mobility severely reduced I had to inject myself with Clexane injections (a type of heparin, blood thinning med) to prevent a DVT (my husband ended up giving me the injections).

At the end of the two weeks of injections, I had to go to the doctors to have my platelet level checked. And then at three weeks I get to go back to the hospital to have the initial dressings removed. I believe that I have dissolvable stitches as I haven't had to have these taken out, but I guess I'll find out for sure when I have my three week appointment. At this point I will have to start doing physio on my toes to try and restore movement.

I will then have another three weeks with a reduced dressing and continuing to wear the boots before a six week appointment with my consultant and X-ray to check that recovery has/is going well. Then at this point I should be able to weight bear and start wearing shoes/flip flops, but swelling will still be an issue for up to a year.

For anyone reading this and having surgery, this information should not be used as advice in any way and shouldn't ever replace what your doctor has advised - it's just so that you can know if your procedure and recovery plan is similar as I know it would've helped me to know about other people's plans.

Day 14 - Two weeks!!!!!

I really can't believe it but today is exactly two weeks since my operation. This week has definitely gone faster than the first week, and has been a little easier, although it has brought new challenges. I'm officially one third of the way through my stint with the heel walking boots - these seem to be my nemesis and the main milestone I am looking forward to moving on from. I'm very aware that at 6 weeks, when I start full-weight bearing, will be painful, challenging, slow, and that I won't be able to wear proper shoes for a while still, but I'm really looking forward to not worrying every time my foot touches the floor.

My first piece of advice on week two of recovery is don't do too much(!!!) I've read this so many times on blogs, on forums and on patient advice documents, but it's still very easy to think that if you start feeling a little better that you are much further recovered than you actually are. Monday was a clear example of this when I jumped up - obviously this was an accident, but an example of how going too fast too soon can have bad consequences, physically and mentally.

Thankfully, my symptoms from Monday's little meltdown have settled down a bit - I'm still getting some aggravation, and still not sure if it was just a coincidence or not, but then pain has decreased which I'm thankful for as I almost called the hospital to go back in at one point.

Today I had a doctors appointment to check my platelet level after two weeks of blood thinning injections. My last injection was yesterday so it now means I need to do a bit more to keep my circulation going, whilst I still can't get around much due to swelling, and therefore pain.

I'm getting squishy - I can feel it all over. I was always quite proud before of having strong legs, but I can feel the muscle softening with every minute of sitting on my behind. I am clutching at being able to go for a run, go to a gym, play squash, dance! I might look into getting a trainer when I am back to normal(ish) so that I can build some strength. I also want to work on my core which is something I have struggled with, having poor balance due to my bunions and having a curved spine!

However, today I did manage a very small workout (and I mean VERY small). I did some arm dips off the side of the sofa, being sure to keep my heels down and toes up on the floor. I then put my feet up on a cushion by the window and did some ab curls, and shoulder bridges, and also used my trigger point balls (these have been a godsend). I then moved back to the floor and did some leg raises - couldn't manage many of these as I could feel the strain pulling through my toes and it was just too uncomfortable.

With regards to general recovery - many people might think that it's just your feet you are having operated on - but it is so much more than that and it does take it's toll. Today I had a friend come to visit for a couple of hours, and I was exhausted by the time he left. I also found going to the doctors exhausting. I had to walk with my crutches into the reception and through to the nurses area (not far at all!!!) and I was so tired - to the point of being nearly out of breath, just from two weeks of pure immobility! It was horrible and I can't wait to get my fitness back up to scratch. It just shows that even though my feet aren't in as much pain, I am still a LONG way from being recovered.

Very happy to be two weeks in however, feel like the worst of it is slowly passing and looking forward to feeling better every day!

Day 10 - Meltdown

Today was not a good day sadly...

I started off the day so well. It was my husband's first day back at work, he'd been working from home all last week so that he was around to help me, but unfortunately that couldn't last forever so he was back to the office. I wanted to help him out so managed to shower myself and get ready - it was hard but I thought I need to make some small steps to getting independent. Hubby made me a tall flask of tea to keep by the sofa so I could have it on demand and set up my cushions, so I was all set for the day, feeling fairly positive.

And then it happened...

The cat came in late morning and he must have had a furball or something but he started wretching as if he was about to be imminently sick on our carpet. At this point all thoughts of the surgery, stitches, broken bones and heel walking boots disappeared from my mind and I leapt up to go and pick the cat up before he was sick. I suddenly found myself in the middle of the living room struggling to balance and wondering why. It was like I'd stood up after a few to many drinks and realising I can't feel my legs. I had completely forgotten about it all in the moment!! It didn't hurt, but I immediately had the strong sense that I really shouldn't have leapt to my feet like that and panicked. Shortly after my feet started hurting more than usual and I completely freaked out! I took all my pain medication but could still feel it twinging and shooting. I had such a panic that I'd damaged something, then the pain medication took hold and made me feel so down, I really couldn't pick myself up for the rest of the day.

I spent most of the afternoon really teary and everyone was trying to reassure me it would be fine. When hubby arrived home he suggested I call the hospital for advice if I was still concerned to put my mind at rest. I gave them a call to ask and the nurse said it was highly unlikely I would've damaged anything and to get my feet up in the air and take my pain meds as usual. This relieved me a little.

The strange thing is that since this happened, I've developed a sharp feeling right in the crease of my big toe - right where one of the staples is. This is my main concern, that I've dislodged something and it might not heal properly, or worse, the bunion could come back. I really can't wait now for the six week appointment so I can see what has happened to my feet.

Finding this whole thing so so much harder than I ever expected. I really wish I could feel upbeat but it is impossible, and I'm normally such a happy person.

Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow...

Day 7 - End of week one round up

I am delighted to say that exactly one week ago I had my double bunion surgery - whoop! I've officially made it through week one, which I wasn't sure I'd manage for the first few days. Still got a veeeery long way to go, but here are some of the things I've learned/observed during the first few weeks.

1. Expect it to be hard - I hadn't ever envisaged that not being able to walk would be difficult and it really took me by surprise.

2. It will hurt - but the pain will subside by around day 5. Don't get me wrong I do still get some pain, especially if I've been a little too long on the crutches and towards the end of the day, but my pain meds have reduced significantly over the past week.

3. Embrace the heel walkers - they are awful to begin with and very uncomfortable/painful. I was convinced I would crack all the bones in my feet by using them for the first few days, however once the pain subsides a little and you get a technique they are manageable.

4. In addition to the above - go careful on your heel walkers and don't overdo it. The main times that I have experienced pain from walking is when I've been trying to do something that I really shouldn't be, like attempting to carry a cup of tea and using a crutch one handed - it's not safe and if you damage yourself then you will feel awful -it's not worth it and you can easily lose your balance so take it steady.

5. Shower stool is a must - the one I bought is like a little bench and fits snugly in the bath so I can hang my legs over the side propped up on something, then I use the shower hose to wash my upper body with. For me, there is nothing like being clean and having washed hair to make you feel better and even though it takes AGES to get up the stairs, and get washed, it is so lovely and easy with the stool. Make sure you have someone to help with this though!!

This shower seat is great and has sucker pads on the bottom so it doesn't slide around. I ordered it from https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/bathing-aids/bath-seats/medeci-bath-seat-305mm

6. Get lots of food in - the night before surgery I spring cleaned the house, did all the laundry and did a HUGE food shop - this meant that my husband, whilst ferrying around doing everything else for me, had one less thing to worry about, and also meant I had all the things I like in house which you will want when you are feeling down in the dumps.

7. Have someone you trust to help you - I'm not going to lie, I have probably been a nightmare to live with this week, I've been emotional (up and mostly down), I've been indecisive, I've been in pain, I've been immobile and I've also wanted things done exactly how I like them (learning to let go of this one a little) - thankfully my husband agreed to love me no matter what on our wedding day so he sort of had to put up with it, but most people would've run for the hills and so it's really important to have someone you know will accept all the ups and downs you will experience - he has been an absolute pillar for me and I am so grateful.

8. Don't expect to do too much in the first week - I have books, a computer, an iPad, DVDs, Netflix, music, games - all sorts to entertain me - and yet for the first five days I literally stared at the wall as there was no energy in me. Most likely this was due to the pain medication - but just be aware this might happen and I'm pretty sure is ok.

9. Expect all sorts of weird feelings in your feet - I get them all the time, from twitching toes, to severe itching, burning, tingling, stabbing and shooting pains, tightness, stiffness - I've experienced everything. Now I haven't had any check ups yet, that won't happen for another few weeks, and being the anxious person I am, I've spent so much time looking up bunion surgery recovery and what's normal and what to expect etc. I think what I've observed is that generally there is no normal, and that providing the overall pain is going down in your feet, and you're not overdoing it then hopefully all should be fine.

10. Get some pilates experience beforehand - sitting around all day is really hard work, and can be really uncomfortable and make you stiff. I'm grateful I have a few ace stretches up my sleeve that I can call upon when needed, that doesn't affect my feet. The added control you get with your balance and strength is useful for heel walking too.

11. General fitness will help you - when I was in the hospital, the nurses were quite impressed with how I managed to manoeuvre myself off the bed and onto a wheelchair with my arms and not putting my feet down - I'm no gym-nut, and I'm usually just about at the higher end of the normal weight bracket, but the exercise and general healthy lifestyle I usually has did help me. I think I would find this more challenging if I was older, heavier or less fit.

12. Set up a good base which is as near to the toilet as possible and have lots of cushions around you. You will want to prop your feet up in all sorts of positions, and have cushions behind your back to support you so have plenty on hand to make sure you stay comfy. The only thing you will need frequent access to is the toilet so factor this in to the location of where you are going to set up. Also advise to have this ready before you go into hospital so that when you come back you can just flop - you won't feel great when you return home so this was nice to come back to.

13. Some useful items to have in advance are:

• a bed tray - useful for eating your meals so you don't have to get up to the table every time
• wheelchair - only used once this week, but necessary anytime you want to go out of the house really (crutches will take far too long and hurt)
• comfy clothes - I went shopping and bought some new pyjamas, new hoodies, tracksuit bottoms and baggy sports shorts as I wanted to make sure I was super comfy whilst recovering. The boots will be clunky so getting clothes on and off is quite tricky so make sure any trouser/pant style clothes have wide foot holes. 

That list ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be - whoops! But hopefully might help anyone planning for this sort of procedure in the future. 

Little update from today - my family have all been on at me to get out of the house this week, so ended up rolling down (literally) to my parents' house this evening to eat dinner. They only live a few houses down the road so it wasn't far - it was nice to sit in the garden and get some fresh air and see the sun for a bit. I didn't manage it for too long and quite fancied getting back to my comfort zone - but was still a step in the right direction to moving around

Out and about in my wheelchair